Politics
Thank You For Your Service Fee: Pentagon Contractor Adds Tip Screen Before Drone Strike
The contractor said the prompt gives taxpayers a chance to support the hardworking team making war feel like a checkout kiosk.
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Culture Student Wellness: University Charges $4,000 To Teach Freshmen To Tell Other Freshmen To Download Calm
Administrators said the peer-support model expands access by letting overwhelmed 18-year-olds redirect other overwhelmed 18-year-olds to an app.
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Science & Technology Safety First: Tesla Requires Drivers To Verbally Release It From Liability Every 11 Seconds
The car will continue driving once the operator clearly states that anything currently happening is probably their fault.
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Entertainment Viewer Advisory: Netflix Asks If You Are Sad Enough Before Starting Another Dead-Woman Documentary
The streamer said the prompt helps viewers distinguish genuine interest from the dead-eyed need to make laundry feel…
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Politics
Election Integrity: Voting Machine Thanks You For Your Donation Before Counting Ballot
Officials said the new civic interface does not influence votes, though it does briefly ask whether democracy has earned 18%.
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Politics
Healing The Brand: Starbucks Says Union Stores Will Get Bathroom Key Once Corporate Finishes Processing
The company said it supports access, dignity, and all other values that can be discussed after management finishes feeling attacked.
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Culture
People First: Company Replaces HR With Praying Hands Emoji That Reacts To Harassment Claims
Executives said employees wanted a faster, warmer way to feel completely alone after reporting something awful.
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Life & Style
Craft Brewery Releases IPA That Tastes Like A Custody Arrangement
The brewery says the beer opens with citrus, regret, and the exact bitterness of alternating weekends.
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Life & Style
Tax Season: TurboTax Adds Button That Says I Am Too Poor To Be This Scared
The company said the button helps users express the gap between their refund size and the fear generated by a federal acronym.
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Entertainment
Convenience Fee: Ticketmaster Adds $18 Charge For The Moment You Realize You Are Being Fucked
Executives said the new fee captures an important part of the live-event journey, namely the exact second hope leaves the body.
