Culture
Group Bonding: Nation’s Dads Waiting For One More Hurricane To Justify Generator
Across the country, fathers are standing in garages beside extension cords and waiting for everyone to admit they were right.
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Culture Student Safety: School District Says Active Shooter Drill Counts Toward Drama Credit
Administrators praised the cross-curricular approach as rigorous, practical, and devastatingly American.
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Business Dollar General Sells Tiny American Flag To Drape Over Overdraft Notice
The retailer says the product helps customers make bank fees feel like civic duty.
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Culture Local Man Who Hates Drama Has 19 Screenshots Saved Under “Tax Stuff”
The folder is reportedly organized by person, timestamp, and whether the evidence will destroy brunch.
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Business
Transparency: Boeing Says Whistleblowers Will Now Receive High-Visibility Vests
The company says the new vests will make safety concerns easier to identify from across a conference room.
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Entertainment
Disney Raises Ticket Prices But Includes One Memory That Belongs To Someone Richer
The premium memory will be assigned at random and may involve a stroller, a churro, or a father who did not check…
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Gaming
DraftKings Lets Users Bet On Whether They’ll Ever Financially Recover
The new market allows users to parlay a Thursday night spread with the remaining shape of their life.
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Business
Heartwarming: Amazon Driver Waited Until Funeral Guests Left Before Asking For A Five-Star Rating
The driver stood respectfully near the folding chairs until the last aunt had placed her casserole dish in the trunk.
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Politics
NRA Launches Mindfulness App To Help Members Notice Target Is Just Mailbox
The guided breathing program encourages users to pause before escalating with a recycling bin.
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Culture
Facebook Marketplace Seller Asks If You Can Pick Up Couch Before Her Marriage Falls Apart
The listing says the couch is smoke-free, pet-free, and maritally load-bearing.
