Business
Rome Has Fallen: Domino’s Set To Phase Out Complimentary Butt Slap For Orders Over $30
The chain says the $30 threshold will still trigger rewards points, which is not the same and everyone knows it.
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Entertainment Calling All Grey’s Anatomy Fans: Meredith Grey Is Entering Her Most Hands-On Season Yet
The upcoming season will reportedly push Meredith into a grief-fueled medical breakthrough that has the hospital ethics board…
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Opinion Personal Essay: I Joined ICE And On My First Day Learned It Was Not Exactly What I Thought It Was
A new recruit joins ICE expecting literal ice and slowly discovers a devastating acronym problem.
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Opinion Opinion: If AI Is Taking Everyone’s Jobs, We Need To Talk About Casual Shoplifting
If AI is taking the jobs, society may need a more honest conversation about toothpaste, dignity, and locked…
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Tech hype, science panic, and innovation headlines pushed one bad idea further.
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- Djent God Misha Mansoor Once Again Caught Red-Handed Taking Bribes From Big Pharma: The 8-String Riff Was Sponsored By Pfizer All Along
- Dave Grohl’s Dirty Little Secret Exposed: The Nicest Guy In Rock Has Been Secretly Lip-Syncing Every Drum Fill For 30 Years
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Running jokes
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Life & Style
Area Man Enters Seventh Hour Of Explaining The Stall After Wife Asks When Brisket Will Be Ready
A backyard barbecue becomes a full-day lecture crisis after one wife makes the mistake of asking when the brisket will actually be…
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Life & Style
Heroic: Husband Who Just Got Home From Work Immediately Deployed To Retrieve Wife’s Facebook Marketplace Purchase
A Cedar Rapids husband briefly believed his workday had ended before being informed his wife had already promised him to a Facebook…
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Business
Federal Reserve Announces Economy Will Now Be Adjusted Using One Giant Thermostat In JPMorgan Chase Basement
The Federal Reserve has reportedly replaced monetary policy with one extremely powerful basement thermostat labeled Recession, Boat Summer, and Egg Prices.
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Business
Coca-Cola Announces New Pre-Shaken Soda That Arrives Already Warm And Slightly Opened
Coca-Cola announces Coke Familiar, a pre-shaken soda that arrives already warm, dented, and slightly opened.
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Business
Papa Johns Facing Investor Revolt After New Pizza For People Who Still Clap When Planes Land Campaign Tanks
Papa Johns faces investor panic after its Backyard Cobb Za campaign makes customers remember ordinary pepperoni exists.
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Business
Office In Crisis After Work Husband Tim And Work Wife Sarah Announce They Are Getting A Divorce
The whole office is talking after beloved work husband and work wife Tim and Sarah announced their separation, forcing coworkers to divide…
