Politics
RFK Jr. Says Mosquitoes Deserve To Do Their Own Research Before Being Sprayed
Public health officials say the mosquito research period may overlap badly with the part where mosquitoes bite people.
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Culture Local Megachurch Adds Fast-Pass Baptism Lane For Donors Who Hate Waiting Wet
Church leaders say the lane honors both generosity and the discomfort of soaked khakis.
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Business Credit Karma Shows Score Of Person You’d Be If Your Dad Apologized
The app says the projection helps users understand the financial upside of one honest sentence in 1998.
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Politics Cooling Center Adds VIP Room For Residents Who Want To Pretend Rich People Are Also Hot
The premium chair offers a small fan, a paper cup of water, and the illusion that heat respects…
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Politics
Supreme Court Rules Teen Vape Pen Protected By Founders’ Original Intent To Look Sick Behind A Barn
The majority found that the right to exhale mango fog while lying to adults is deeply rooted in the nation's history.
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Science & Technology
NASA Confirms Mars Sample Is Mostly Dust And A Note Asking Earth To Stop Sending Men
Scientists say the sample contains minerals, oxidized compounds, and a surprisingly direct interplanetary boundary.
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Life & Style
County Fair Adds Horny Jail After Third Dad Gets Too Patriotic Around Tilt-A-Whirl
Fair officials say the holding pen gives certain men a place to cool down before the livestock auction.
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Life & Style
Wedding Venue Adds Deposit For Best Man Speech That Mentions Vegas, Jail, Or The Bride’s Sister
Coordinators say the policy protects families from speeches that begin with "the statute of limitations is up."
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Culture
Funeral Home Offers Influencer Package For Families Who Want Ring Light Near The Casket
The director says families grieve differently, and some grieve in portrait mode beside lilies.
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Business
College Career Center Gives Graduates Complimentary Parking-Lot Breakdown Headshot
The school says the service helps graduates enter the job market with a professional photo and fresh curb trauma.
