Category
Category: Politics
From the archive
Older Politics stories worth resurfacing
- Are You Tired of Winning Yet? Trump’s Tariff Tantrum Crowns Him King of the Economic Clown Show
- We Interviewed JD Vance, and It Got Weirdly Threatening
- Supreme Court Affirms Donald Trump’s Superior Intellect in 9-0 Decision
- Donald Trump Promises Gourmet Meals and Daily Yoga at New Trump Jail: Is This the Prison of the Future?
- Donald Trump Announces Plan to Build World’s Largest Swamp-Pumping Station
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Politics
Former Russian Spy Who Finally Decided To Do The Right Thing Dies 11 Minutes Later After Eating Gas Station Cottage Cheese
A former Russian spy finally tried to defect, only for discount gas station cottage cheese to erase 11 terabytes of Western intelligence hopes.
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Science & Technology
Terror Alert: Taliban Claims Responsibility For Destroying Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin Rocket
The group said its long-running campaign against private spaceflight had achieved a major victory after a billionaire's rocket completed most of the work itself.
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Politics
President Trump Declares Total War On Kars4Kids After Hearing Jingle 11 Times During Dental Procedure
President Trump reportedly opened a new front against Kars4Kids after a dental procedure exposed him to the jingle one too many times.
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Life & Style
North Korea Opens Beach Resort For Foreigners Who Miss Being Told Exactly Where To Stand
North Korea pitches a beach resort to burned-out foreigners seeking seafood, patriotic murals, and the strange luxury of having every decision made for them.
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Politics
Bombshell: Ghislaine Maxwell Emerges As Top Republican Candidate For 2028
WASHINGTON—Convicted Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell has reportedly emerged as an early favorite in the Republican Party’s 2028 presidential field after strategists concluded she possesses…
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Entertainment
No Comment: Trump Throws Stephen Colbert Into Dumpster After Final Late Show
Donald Trump marked the end of Stephen Colbert's Late Show run by placing the host in a dumpster and completing the familiar rally dance…
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Politics
Public-Private Partnership: Trump Appoints Time Apple To Run Every Clock In America After Learning Tim Cook Already Works At Apple
The White House says Time Apple will coordinate iPhones, watches, daylight saving, and whatever the president thinks Apple CEO Tim Cook is called.
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Politics
Opinion: I Miss When Joe Biden Would Pat Me On The Back And Call Me Sport
America has lost something important, and I am not talking about decorum, bipartisanship, or whatever cable news is mad about today.
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Politics
Finally: Police Doing Their Jobs By Tackling Student Before She Could Finish Anti-Poverty Lunch
Police restored public confidence by arresting a 21-year-old anti-poverty activist during lunch before she could finish eating and continue believing poor people should have…
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Politics
Huge Relief: Trump Preparing To Peacefully Leave Office In 2029 By Building A War-Capable Bunker Under The White House
The president is soothing concerns about the end of his second term with a drone-proof ballroom, a military hospital, secure infrastructure, and several floors…
