Cooling Center Adds VIP Room For Residents Who Want To Pretend Rich People Are Also Hot
The premium chair offers a small fan, a paper cup of water, and the illusion that heat respects income.
A municipal cooling center has added a VIP room for residents who want to pretend rich people are also hot.
The room, located behind a rope in the corner of the gym, includes one plush chair, a stronger box fan, a paper cup of water, and the comforting illusion that heat enters every household through the same door.
"Extreme heat affects everyone," said deputy city manager Lorna Phipps. "Some residents face it in apartments with broken windows. Others face it while walking from a cooled garage to a cooled kitchen and saying, 'Brutal out there.' We wanted to honor both experiences dishonestly."
Residents can enter the VIP area for 10 minutes after proving they have said "at least it's a dry heat" to someone whose shirt was visibly wet.
The city said the upgrade helps reduce class tension by giving exhausted people a place to imagine wealth as a mild fan setting rather than a second climate system built around private property.
Some visitors criticized the rope, though others admitted it was nice to sit near a sign that made suffering feel like a lounge package.
Officials plan to expand the program if temperatures rise, adding a platinum tier where residents can briefly forget their landlord exists.
