Category
Category: Science & Technology
From the archive
Older Science & Technology stories worth resurfacing
- Elon Musk Announces Plan to Populate Mars, Says “It’s Time to Get Biblically Fruitful”
- Experts Claim Cyclone Alfred Controlled by HAARP to Boost Supermarket Profits
- Elon Musk Announces Controversial ‘Mandatory Fucking’ Policy for X Users
- Tech Breakthrough: GPT-4.5 is Now So Small You Can Literally Stuff It in Your Balls
- Elon Musk Announces Plan to Stockpile All Moon Cheese for Personal Consumption
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Science & Technology
Troubling Side Effect: The Enhanced Games Are Having Difficulty Keeping Viewers Up
The Enhanced Games promised medically supervised superhumans, but the broadcast is struggling with the same problem as chemically ambitious men everywhere: keeping anyone interested.
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Science & Technology
Literacy Crisis: Neo-Nazis Showed Up To Mira Murati’s Neopets Demo After Misreading The Announcement
Former OpenAI executive Mira Murati reportedly unveiled a wholesome virtual-pet revival to investors, nostalgic millennials, and several men who stopped reading after “neo.”
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Science & Technology
Filthy: Nikita Boar Triple-Dipped In The Bacon Dip With His Greedy Little Snout
Witnesses say the X product head went snout-first into the communal bacon ranch, turning one kitchen island into a tiny barnyard tribunal.
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Science & Technology
Cosmic Horror: Neil deGrasse Tyson Lost A Quarter Down The Couch And Keeps Calling It An Event Horizon
The astrophysicist says the coin has not vanished, merely crossed into a region of spacetime where loose change and remote controls stop returning calls.
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Science & Technology
Opinion: Spotify’s Disco Ball Logo Was Good And Everyone Who Complained Should Have Their Wrapped Read Aloud In Court
For one beautiful week, a music app finally admitted it was a glowing little shame orb that knew every bad decision you made after…
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Science & Technology
Opinion: Why Is Everyone Afraid Of Ebola? It Sounds Like Something You’d Order With Lime
With Hantavirus and Ebola dominating the news, one columnist bravely asks whether America is overreacting to what is clearly a delicious regional dish.
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Science & Technology
Gary Marcus Announces IRS “Will Never See A Fucking Nickel,” Challenges Federal Government To “Pull Up”
NEW YORK — Cognitive scientist and AI critic Gary Marcus reportedly spent most of Tuesday afternoon posting through it after declaring that the Internal…
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Science & Technology
Scientists Announce New Asbestos
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced Thursday the successful creation of a new form of asbestos capable of surviving…
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Science & Technology
Convenience: Tesla Announces Cybertruck Will Now Arrive With Factory-Installed Rust Spots
Tesla streamlines Cybertruck ownership by delivering its stainless steel pickup with factory-installed rust spots already included.
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Science & Technology
Local Developer Burning 38 Million AI Tokens A Month Still Bravely Has No Product, Users, Or Clear Idea What He Is Building
A solo founder is burning millions of AI tokens a month, generating code at heroic speed, and still has no product anyone can use.
