Category
Category: Science & Technology
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Science & Technology
Meta To Lay Off 8,000 Employees After AI Correctly Identifies Them As People Who Cost Money
Executives praised the model for discovering the one remaining inefficiency in the company: salaries.
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Science & Technology
Bad News: Court Says Elon Musk Waited Too Long To Be This Much Of A Loser About OpenAI
After losing his OpenAI lawsuit, Elon Musk must continue his Sam Altman breakup tour on X, where there is no filing deadline for being…
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Science & Technology
xAI Announces New “Earn While You Grok” Program After Internal Data Shows Most Users Only Open App By Accident
PALO ALTO, Calif. — After months of struggling to gain traction against OpenAI, Anthropic, Google, and what one executive privately described as “three guys…
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Science & Technology
End Of An Era: Pope Leo XIV Announces He Is Stepping Down From Anthropic
The pontiff thanked the company for the opportunity to help Mythos discover zero-days while retaining a faint but unmistakable sense of shame.
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Science & Technology
AI Bubble Pops, Nation Forced To Remember How Anything Works
SAN FRANCISCO – Global markets entered freefall Monday after investors abruptly realized that artificial intelligence companies were losing approximately $14 for every $1 generated,…
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Science & Technology
Leaked Memo Says Bitcoin Quietly Hired A CEO To Fix The Brand’s Male Energy
The decentralized currency reportedly wants fewer midnight chart guys and more matte-black luxury restraint.
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Science & Technology
Microsoft To Introduce Expanded Identity Verification For Windows Users Who Want To Open Their Own Laptops
REDMOND, Wash.—Microsoft is reportedly preparing to expand identity verification across Windows, requiring users to prove they are themselves before opening their laptop, adjusting brightness,…
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Science & Technology
AI Lab Assures Investors Profitability Remains One Of Several Theoretical Outcomes
SAN FRANCISCO – Executives at leading artificial intelligence startup Omnithic held an emergency investor briefing to reassure stakeholders that the company remains “deeply committed…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Starlink Upgrades, Here’s What It Means For Your Sex Toys
HAWTHORNE, CA – Elon Musk has announced sweeping upgrades to the Starlink satellite network that he says will deliver internet speeds “approaching the speed…
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Science & Technology
Taiwan Responds To Trump’s Maybe-We-Defend-You Routine By Casually Reminding America Who Makes Literally Everything
Taiwan answers Trump's defense waffling by politely letting America remember where the chips, phones, AI servers, and global panic all come from.
