County Fair Adds Horny Jail After Third Dad Gets Too Patriotic Around Tilt-A-Whirl
Fair officials say the holding pen gives certain men a place to cool down before the livestock auction.
A county fair has added a horny jail after the third dad got too patriotic around the Tilt-A-Whirl.
Fair officials said the temporary holding pen is designed for adult men who become overstimulated by denim shorts, deep-fried dough, fireworks music, and the sight of their wife laughing near a ride operator with a forearm tattoo.
"We are a family event," said fair manager Rhonda Yates. "That means every man named Keith gets one warning before he has to sit behind the barriers and drink water like a dog that found the ham."
The pen includes folding chairs, a box fan, and laminated cards reminding detainees that patriotism is not the same as licking barbecue sauce off your own thumb while making eye contact with a pageant mom.
Officials said the final trigger came when a father of three removed his sunglasses during "Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue" and whispered, "This country still has juice," in a tone no public carousel should have to hear.
Wives praised the new policy, with one woman saying it was nice to eat a corn dog without her husband turning the Ferris wheel into a referendum on freedom and breasts.
The fair hopes the pen will remain temporary, though staff have already ordered more chairs for demolition derby night.
