Dermatologists Beg Dads To Stop Calling Sunscreen Makeup
Doctors say SPF 50 is not a gender identity, even when applied to the nose by a wife with a beach bag.
Dermatologists have issued a nationwide plea begging dads to stop calling sunscreen makeup.
Doctors said the annual summer crisis begins when a wife, daughter, lifeguard, or medically literate stranger attempts to apply SPF 50 to a man whose ears are already turning the color of a boiled argument.
"Sunscreen is not makeup," said Dr. Camille Penn, a dermatologist in Tampa. "It is a topical product that keeps your face from becoming a leather map of every lawn you refused to leave."
Researchers found that many fathers reject sunscreen because it is white, comes in a tube, and must be rubbed in, placing it in the same mental category as moisturizer, apology, and asking for directions.
The American Academy of Dermatology has released new guidance encouraging families to avoid phrases like "just put it on" and instead tell dads the sunscreen contains aircraft-grade zinc and was originally developed for men who own boats.
Public health workers are also distributing spray cans labeled Face Armor, Tactical Sun Paste, and The Stuff Construction Guys Use, all of which contain normal sunscreen and a lie that helps nobody die weirdly proud.
At press time, several dads had agreed to apply sunscreen to one shoulder as a test and were already calling the shoulder European.
