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Tag: Elon Musk
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Furious After Losing Chess Match To OpenAI Chatbot That Kept Asking ‘Are You Sure?’
Elon Musk reportedly loses a private chess match to an OpenAI chatbot that kept calmly asking whether he was sure about his moves.
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Science & Technology
Former White Castle Employees Say Elon Musk Spent The Mid-’90s Carrying A Bucket Of ‘White Sauce’ And Calling It Humanity’s Backup Plan
Former White Castle coworkers allegedly remember the billionaire as an overnight-shift sauce visionary with a bucket, a population chart, and no respect for refrigeration.
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Science & Technology
Bad News: Court Says Elon Musk Waited Too Long To Be This Much Of A Loser About OpenAI
After losing his OpenAI lawsuit, Elon Musk must continue his Sam Altman breakup tour on X, where there is no filing deadline for being…
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Science & Technology
xAI Announces New “Earn While You Grok” Program After Internal Data Shows Most Users Only Open App By Accident
PALO ALTO, Calif. — After months of struggling to gain traction against OpenAI, Anthropic, Google, and what one executive privately described as “three guys…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Starlink Upgrades, Here’s What It Means For Your Sex Toys
HAWTHORNE, CA – Elon Musk has announced sweeping upgrades to the Starlink satellite network that he says will deliver internet speeds “approaching the speed…
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Science & Technology
Musk Demands OpenAI Return To Being Weird Little Nonprofit Nobody Understood
OAKLAND, Calif. – The federal courtroom overseeing the increasingly hostile legal dispute between Elon Musk and OpenAI briefly paused Wednesday after both parties attempted…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Unveils X Premium Genetics, Allows Subscribers To Receive “Verified” Elon Sperm Directly Through App
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk announced Monday that X will officially enter the fertility industry with the launch of X Premium Genetics, a subscription-based…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Plan to Populate Mars, Says “It’s Time to Get Biblically Fruitful”
BOCA CHICA, TX — In a press conference held entirely in Latin and streamed at 2:37 AM via X (formerly Twitter), Elon Musk unveiled…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Controversial ‘Mandatory Fucking’ Policy for X Users
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Billionaire Elon Musk announced today that users of X (formerly Twitter) will soon be required to engage in mandatory fucking at least…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Plan to Stockpile All Moon Cheese for Personal Consumption
Eccentric billionaire Elon Musk has announced his intention to hoard all of the cheese found on the moon for his own personal use. The…
