Tag
Tag: Elon Musk
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Plan to Populate Mars, Says “It’s Time to Get Biblically Fruitful”
BOCA CHICA, TX — In a press conference held entirely in Latin and streamed at 2:37 AM via X (formerly Twitter), Elon Musk unveiled…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Controversial ‘Mandatory Fucking’ Policy for X Users
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Billionaire Elon Musk announced today that users of X (formerly Twitter) will soon be required to engage in mandatory fucking at least…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Plan to Stockpile All Moon Cheese for Personal Consumption
Eccentric billionaire Elon Musk has announced his intention to hoard all of the cheese found on the moon for his own personal use. The…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Shows Unprecedented Mercy: Snips Only 3 Fingers from SpaceX Leaker’s Hand! The Compassionate Billionaire Strikes Again
They say charity starts at home, but for Elon Musk, it seems that benevolence starts at the fingertips – or rather, ends there. In…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Buys Twitter’s Debt with Pocket Change and Pays People to Tweet – Because Why Not?
Elon Musk Buys Twitter’s Debt with Pocket Change and Pays People to Tweet – Because Why Not? Hold onto your tweeting thumbs. In a…
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Life & Style
Elon Musk’s Barista’s Uncle’s Brother’s Dog Walker Speaks Out: The Shocking Inside Scoop You Won’t Believe
Hold on to your Teslas, guys and gals. You won’t believe the kind of access we’ve managed to score. Elon Musk’s barista’s uncle’s brother’s…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Rips Up the Rulebook: Twitter ‘X’ to Implement Digital Communism!
San Francisco, CA – In what can only be described as Silicon Valley’s boldest crossover episode, Elon Musk has announced his latest venture: a…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk and Joe Rogan Debate Over Who Can Blow The Most Smoke… Out of a Rocket
In an utterly shocking episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, the pixie-haired tech wizard, Elon Musk, hopscotched on to the stage to challenge the…
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Politics
DeSantis Announces Presidency Amidst Sound of Crashing Servers, North Korea Sends Congrats
SAN FRANCISCO – North Korea congratulates Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on his successful 2024 presidential campaign launch. The announcement, delivered via a Twitter Space…
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk’s death beam satellite: a game-changer or a recipe for disaster?
In an announcement that surprised no one, Elon Musk revealed that his latest invention, a death beam satellite, is almost complete. But fear not.…
