Life & Style

Elon Musk Offers Discounted Teslas to Women Who Agree to Carry His Offspring, Declares Himself ‘Father of Mars’

AUSTIN, TX – In his latest attempt to outdo his own absurdity, billionaire tech overlord Elon Musk has announced an unprecedented new Tesla discount…

Music

Misha Mansoor Exposed: Periphery Frontman Caught Taking More Bribes From Big Pharma as Fans Uncover Prescription Drug References in Lyrics

Progressive metal mastermind and Periphery guitarist Misha Mansoor has once again found himself in hot water after leaked documents revealed he has been accepting…

Entertainment

Blake Lively Accuses Barista Who Got Her Order Wrong of Sexual Harassment

NEW YORK, NY — Hollywood actress Blake Lively shocked fans this week after she publicly accused a Manhattan barista of sexual harassment following an…

Entertainment

Black Market for Stolen Netflix Passwords Booms Amidst National Chaos

The seemingly innocent phrase “I cancelled my Netflix. Can I have your password?” has transformed into a sinister harbinger of chaos and violence nationwide.…

Science & Technology

Elon Musk Announces Plan to Stockpile All Moon Cheese for Personal Consumption

Eccentric billionaire Elon Musk has announced his intention to hoard all of the cheese found on the moon for his own personal use. The…

Music

From ‘Hey Jude’ to ‘Hey, You’re Mentally Unwell’: The Beatles’ Dark Legacy Exposed

The beloved and once-revered Beatles are now being exposed as vile manipulators who preyed on mentally unwell fans to achieve fame and fortune. This…

Music

Can The Kid LAROI Redeem Himself or Will He Go Down in History as a Sickening, Little Cunt?

Well, this was unexpected. Australia’s beloved up-and-coming rapper, The Kid LAROI, has taken a dark turn and is now known for his unabashed disdain…

Music

DJ Disaster: Fred Again Ruins Birthday Party with World’s Worst Set Ever!

In what will go down in the annals of party disasters, Fred Again has been unofficially crowned the maestro of musical mishaps, turning a…

Entertainment

MMA Champion Conor McGregor Disgraced in Kitchen Mishap, Wife’s Boyfriend Saves the Day

Dublin, Ireland – The Notorious Conor McGregor has been defeated once again. This time, not by any of his formidable opponents in the cage,…

Music

Fred Durst’s Couch Conundrum: Modern Musician or Disaster in the Making?

Renowned musician Fred Durst has found himself in an unexpected predicament. After three weeks of crashing on a stranger’s couch, many are left wondering…