Craft Brewery Releases IPA That Tastes Like A Custody Arrangement
The brewery says the beer opens with citrus, regret, and the exact bitterness of alternating weekends.
A craft brewery has released a new IPA that tastes like a custody arrangement.
The beer, called Alternate Weekends, opens with citrus, pine, and the hard little bitterness of realizing every school backpack now has to be packed like evidence.
"We wanted to capture a modern American flavor profile," said head brewer Micah Pell. "There is grapefruit on the nose, a dry finish, and just a whisper of two adults using a shared calendar to continue a fight from 2019."
The brewery recommends pairing the IPA with grilled chicken, a text that begins "per our agreement," or the specific silence that happens when a child asks why Dad's house has better cereal.
Early tasters described the beer as crisp, assertive, and legally aware. One man said it reminded him of standing in a driveway holding a lacrosse bag while his ex-wife's new boyfriend learned everyone's cleat sizes too quickly.
The label features two lawn chairs facing away from each other, a cooler nobody wants to divide, and a dog that clearly knows more than the court.
The brewery plans to follow Alternate Weekends with a winter stout called He Gets Thanksgiving Because Your Mother Guilt-Texted First.
