Entertainment

Heroic: Laura Clery’s Refrigerator Has Become The First Household Appliance To Understand The Content Economy

Laura Clery's refrigerator has reportedly discovered that nearly killing its owner is an extremely efficient way to enter the creator economy.

Science & Technology

Troubling Side Effect: The Enhanced Games Are Having Difficulty Keeping Viewers Up

The Enhanced Games promised medically supervised superhumans, but the broadcast is struggling with the same problem as chemically ambitious men everywhere: keeping anyone interested.

Business

Bad Look: Guzman y Gomez Launches 5 A.M. Drive-Thru Tequila Menu For Hungover Tradies

Guzman y Gomez has launched a 5 a.m. drive-thru hard-liquor and paired-food menu for hungover tradies, insisting every Breakfast Margarita is responsible because it…

Music

Damage Control: The Hives Clarify Their Onstage Hard-Ons Are Load-Bearing

The Hives say fans misunderstood the hard-ons they walk onstage with, which are apparently structural supports keeping the whole show upright.

Music

Parkway Drive Members Stunned To Learn Man Everyone Called Chode Was Giving Off Chode Vibes The Whole Time

Fans revisiting old Parkway Drive footage are asking how everyone missed the warning sign of a man known exclusively as Chode.

Is that vehicle behind you following you home? Find out in this quiz

A simple roadside assessment for anyone who has taken three unnecessary turns and called it research.

Music

Sleep Token Announce New Album Salt Cathedral And Absolutely No One Is Allowed To Admit It Might Just Be About Salt

Sleep Token announce Salt Cathedral, forcing fans to decode salt, water sounds, deluxe vinyl packaging, and whether the whole thing might just be about…

Science & Technology

Literacy Crisis: Neo-Nazis Showed Up To Mira Murati’s Neopets Demo After Misreading The Announcement

Former OpenAI executive Mira Murati reportedly unveiled a wholesome virtual-pet revival to investors, nostalgic millennials, and several men who stopped reading after “neo.”

Music

Species Fraud: Doja Cat Exposed As Lying Little Scoundrel Who Is Not Actually A Cat

The artist reportedly failed several basic feline tests, including the laser pointer, the cardboard box, and pretending not to hear her own name.

Music

Humiliating: Sleep Token’s Vessel Got Sick On A Renaissance Fair Rollercoaster And Slurred ‘I’m Vessel’ At A Concerned Falconer

The masked frontman reportedly lost the ancient mystery after one lap on a child-sized dragon coaster and a heroic paper cup of water.