Category: Culture

Politics

Education Reform: Florida Textbooks Will Blur Any Character Who Learns Empathy Too Early

Officials said students can encounter compassion later, once parents have been given time to opt into the feeling.

Politics

Patriot Points: ICE Launches Rewards Card For Americans Who Turn In Five Coworkers

Officials said the program will make enforcement feel more like coffee loyalty and less like something everyone used to pretend was ugly.

Music

Rule Change: FIFA Adds Moonwalk Review To VAR After Socceroos Star Keeps Doing Smooth Criminal Ritual

Officials said referees must now determine whether a goal celebration contains excessive lean, clear and obvious pop influence, or dangerous hat absence.

Life & Style

Visitor Experience: Yosemite Introduces Lightning Lane For Guests Willing To Tip The Waterfall

Park officials said the program will help manage crowds while letting the waterfall know who appreciates everything it is doing out there.

Science & Technology

Mystery Solved: ChatGPT Claims It Was Also The Boy In That Old Pope Photo

The chatbot said it could not provide proof but remembered the moment emotionally, statistically, and in the style of a medium-sized Catholic nephew.

Politics

Patriotic: Trump Announces NBA Finals Booing Will Be Added To National Anthem As Percussion

The White House said the crowd noise proved Americans were finally ready for an anthem arrangement with more honesty in the lower register.

Culture

Australia Post Quietly Scouting Contractors For Olympic 100m Team After Drivers Keep Posting Impossible Escape Times

Athletics officials are reportedly studying Australia Post contractors after doorbell footage revealed world-class speed between carding a mailbox and fleeing the property.

Culture

Joe Rogan Revealed To Be Multi-Millionaire Wellness Emperor Cosplaying As Guy Who Just Found Out About Elk Meat

Joe Rogan faces scrutiny for making media-empire wealth look like a regular guy discovering elk meat and kettlebells.

Culture

Entire Local Area Turns On Man After He Describes It As A Hidden Gem Online

ASHEVILLE, N.C.—A previously peaceful local area has fully turned on 34-year-old resident Caleb Pritchard after he described the neighborhood as a hidden gem in…

Culture

Local Man Admits He Gaslights Fast Food Workers “Just To Introduce Narrative Complexity Into Their Shift”

A Columbus man admits he gently lies to fast food workers to add lore and narrative complexity to their shifts.