Music

Album Review: Lana Del Rey’s “The Right Person Will Stay” is a Glorious Country Trainwreck You Can’t Stop Loving

Lana Del Rey, the pop world’s favorite sad-girl-in-chief, has always felt like America’s melancholy prom queen. With her latest album, “The Right Person Will…

Music

Album Review: The Wiggles’ ‘Wiggle Up, Giddy Up!’ Is the Cowboy Catastrophe You Never Knew You Needed

The Wiggles, Australia’s proudest export since Hugh Jackman’s abs, have unleashed their latest musical monstrosity: Wiggle Up, Giddy Up! dropping on March 7, 2025.…

Entertainment

Nicole Kidman ‘Isn’t Fucking Around Anymore’, Vows to End Zach Galifianakis ‘Once and For All’

Hollywood, CA — After years of quietly tolerating what sources call “an escalating war of passive-aggressive gestures,” actress Nicole Kidman publicly declared on Tuesday…

Science & Technology

Elon Musk Announces Controversial ‘Mandatory Fucking’ Policy for X Users

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Billionaire Elon Musk announced today that users of X (formerly Twitter) will soon be required to engage in mandatory fucking at least…

Life & Style

Walmart Quietly Approaching AGI Breakthrough, Sparking Fear at Costco Headquarters

BENTONVILLE, AR – Walmart, America’s largest retailer and a staple of everyday consumerism, is reportedly close to achieving Artificial General Intelligence (AGI), sending shockwaves…

Reviews

Nintendo Switch 2 Review: A Must-Buy Console for Incels and Lonely Adults Everywhere

Nintendo’s highly anticipated Switch 2 is landing in a few months, and it’s everything an incel or lifelong virgin could want from a gaming…

Gaming

Exclusive First Impressions of GTA 6

Fans have been eagerly waiting over a decade for Grand Theft Auto VI, desperate for even a glimpse of the game after the infamous…

Music

Opinion: I Liked Tim Lambesis Better When He Was in Jail

It’s not often you find yourself thinking, “Wow, that dude really peaked behind bars,” but Tim Lambesis, infamous frontman of metalcore band As I…

Entertainment

Did Olive Garden Have Gene Hackman Killed Over Secret Recipes?

SANTA FE, NM — Hollywood and conspiracy circles alike are buzzing with speculation following the mysterious death of beloved actor Gene Hackman at his…

Entertainment

We Asked 6 Celebrities What They Think About OpenAI’s New GPT-4.5:

Robert Pattinson: “Honestly, GPT-4.5 has been texting me at all hours asking if vampires are real and, more specifically, if I personally am a…