Culture

Call Of Duty Adds Open Mic Friday DLC That Rewards Teen Players For Telling Adult Strangers Too Much About Home

The new voice-chat feature reportedly gives double XP to players who keep the mic on, answer lobby questions, and unlock a camouflage skin called…

Life & Style

Australian Tradie Furious New Ford Ranger Only Intimidates Women, Cyclists, And His Own Financial Future

Codz says the $127,000 ute is nearly practical, once it scares the right people and stops fitting into car parks.

Culture

Bombshell Expose: After A Six-Month Investigation, We Can Reveal Bryan Johnson Is Being Raised By His Own Blood Work

The Blueprint founder has been called a tech entrepreneur, a longevity obsessive, and the man who wants to live forever. Our findings suggest something…

Science & Technology

Opinion: Why Is Everyone Afraid Of Ebola? It Sounds Like Something You’d Order With Lime

With Hantavirus and Ebola dominating the news, one columnist bravely asks whether America is overreacting to what is clearly a delicious regional dish.

Science & Technology

Gary Marcus Announces IRS “Will Never See A Fucking Nickel,” Challenges Federal Government To “Pull Up”

NEW YORK — Cognitive scientist and AI critic Gary Marcus reportedly spent most of Tuesday afternoon posting through it after declaring that the Internal…

Science & Technology

Scientists Announce New Asbestos

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced Thursday the successful creation of a new form of asbestos capable of surviving…

Science & Technology

Convenience: Tesla Announces Cybertruck Will Now Arrive With Factory-Installed Rust Spots

Tesla streamlines Cybertruck ownership by delivering its stainless steel pickup with factory-installed rust spots already included.

Culture

Alex Jones Launches New Media Venture From Bass Pro Shops Parking Lot After Infowars Studio Goes Dark

After the Infowars studio goes dark, Alex Jones enters his truck-stop prophet era with a folding table and parking lot energy.

Music

Embarrassing: ACM Awards Forced To Keep Restarting Ella Langley’s Walk-Off Music After She Won Again Before Reaching Her Seat

After Ella Langley kept winning at the ACM Awards, producers reportedly had to treat her less like a guest and more like recurring stage…

Politics

Huge Relief: Trump Preparing To Peacefully Leave Office In 2029 By Building A War-Capable Bunker Under The White House

The president is soothing concerns about the end of his second term with a drone-proof ballroom, a military hospital, secure infrastructure, and several floors…