Author
Author: Sarah Coleman
Sarah Coleman covers celebrities, streaming platforms, awards season, and the publicity cycles everyone pretends happened by accident.
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Entertainment
Disney Raises Ticket Prices But Includes One Memory That Belongs To Someone Richer
The premium memory will be assigned at random and may involve a stroller, a churro, or a father who did not check his bank…
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Entertainment
Show Your Work: Jamie Ding Calculates ICE Crackdown Has Put America In A Runaway Game Against Basic Decency
After his 31-game Jeopardy streak ended, Jamie Ding released a mathematical proof showing ICE has put America in a runaway game against basic decency.
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Entertainment
Beyonce Quietly Becomes Regional Weather System During Cowboy Carter Tour Stop
A Cowboy Carter tour stop grows beyond concert status and becomes a temporary self-sustaining civilization event.
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Entertainment
30 Years Later, Experts Confirm Every Episode Of Seinfeld Was About Four Psychopaths Slowly Destroying Manhattan
Streaming-era viewers have concluded Seinfeld was less a show about nothing than four adults committing civic sabotage.
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Entertainment
BREAKING NEWS: John Travolta Opens Fire Inside Regional Pharmacy
John Travolta allegedly takes CVS coupon policy into his own hands with a modified T-shirt cannon and a 2009 rewards coupon.
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Entertainment
Damage Control: Keanu Reeves Clarifies His New Gum Is Pronounced Come Gum Despite Literally Everyone Calling It Cum Gum
The actor says the charity gum is about togetherness, fresh breath, and not whatever the internet immediately decided it was about.
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Entertainment
Still Here: David Hasselhoff Announced His Comeback To A Room That Was Not Aware He Had Left
The Hoff promised a triumphant return, forcing several entertainment reporters to determine whether he had technically been absent or simply ambient for decades.
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Entertainment
Heroic: Celebrity Worth $180 Million Sticks It To The Man By Condemning The Bad Thing
A beloved millionaire has finally challenged power by announcing that the bad thing everyone already hated is, in fact, bad.
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Music
Species Fraud: Doja Cat Exposed As Lying Little Scoundrel Who Is Not Actually A Cat
The artist reportedly failed several basic feline tests, including the laser pointer, the cardboard box, and pretending not to hear her own name.
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Entertainment
Have You Heard? Amber Heard Is Ready For Her Comeback And Absolutely Nobody Is Safe
Amber Heard is reportedly preparing a Hollywood comeback with a renewed sense of purpose, terrifying calm, and deeply concerning eye contact.
