Opinion

Help! This Parrot I Adopted from an Animal Shelter Won’t Stop Singing Creed Songs

It was supposed to be an act of kindness: I adopted a parrot from an animal shelter. But I hadn’t counted on the parrot’s…

Gaming

Starfield: An Intergalactic Potatocalypse! (a review)

Rating: 4.3 Potatoes out of 5 If you ever wondered what it’d be like to take our humble earthbound spuds on an intense interstellar…

Entertainment

LeBron James’ Diplomatic Dunk: NBA Star’s Surprising Praise of the CCP Leaves Fans and Critics in a Spin!

In a recent interview that left fans and critics alike scratching their heads, NBA superstar LeBron James dropped a slam dunk of a statement…

Music

Buckethead Finally Reveals His True Identity

The world was in shock today as the mysterious and enigmatic Buckethead finally revealed his true identity to the public. For decades, the enigmatic…

Music

Reviving Beatles Music with AI and Dumpster Nuggets: Paul McCartney Undead and Unapologetic

In a staggering act of musical resurrection combined with delightful vindication, Sir Paul McCartney wheeled out artificial intelligence to conjure an eerily fascinating unfinished…

Politics

Trump Cuffed: Will Holding Criminally-inclined Ex-Presidents Accountable Ruin America’s Time-honored Tradition?

You might want to sit down for this one because an earth-shattering crack has just split the fabric of our nation: beloved former reality…

Entertainment

Adam Sandler Strikes Again: New Netflix Film Promises to Destroy Another Evening of Your Life

LOS ANGELES, CA – Just when you thought it was safe to browse Netflix without fear of stumbling upon another cringe-inducing film, Adam Sandler,…

Entertainment

Tom Hanks and Police Engage in Bizarre ‘Wilson’ Shouting Match at Local Starbucks

Los Angeles, CA – A seemingly ordinary day at a local Starbucks quickly escalated into an absurdist spectacle when Hollywood legend Tom Hanks, upon…

Music

Throwing Shade: Morgan Freeman’s Bizarre Rant About Australian Metalcore Band Patient Sixty-Seven!

Perth, Australia – Hollywood legend and renowned voiceover artist Morgan Freeman has reportedly become embroiled in a bizarre feud with Australian metalcore band Patient…

Music

Post Malone Adds Even More Ridiculous Tattoos to His Already Crowded Face

Rapper Post Malone has added more permanent drawings to his crowded face. The new tattoos, which include a cartoonish depiction of a slice of…