Culture

Kanye West Lands In Iran For Peace Talks, Immediately Declares Himself “Supreme Leader Of Vibes”

Ye arrives in Iran to personally fix geopolitics, then immediately decides the whole region needs better branding.

Music

Fear Factory Guitarist Dino Cazares Now Refers To Australia As “The Big Outback Zoo” After Developing Concerning Attachment To Kangaroos

Fear Factory guitarist Dino Cazares prepares for Australia by entering a full marsupial spiral involving kangaroos, Tim Tams, and drop-G Outback theory.

Politics

Anthony Albanese Refuses To Extend Fuel Excise Cut Until Australians Experience One Raw-Dogged Servo Visit First

The Prime Minister says Australians may need one completely unprotected servo visit before anyone decides whether unleaded deserves mercy.

Life & Style

‘I Am No Longer Afraid Of Death’: Passenger Begs For Merciful Lake Michigan Impact After Man Removes Shoes Mid-Flight

Passengers on a Phoenix-to-Chicago flight reportedly united against one man's bare feet and the horrifying possibility that no policy would save them.

Life & Style

Christian Mom Allows Sleepover After Confirming Other Family Also Keeps Worship Music On In The Car

A Christian mom approves her daughter's first sleepover after confirming the other family keeps worship music on in the car.

Entertainment

Netflix Quietly Tests New Feature That Pauses Your Show To Ask Why You Are Still Alive

Netflix tests a feature that pauses long binge sessions to ask subscribers why they are still alive before starting the next episode anyway.

Politics

Australian Federal Budget Expands Dream Of One Day Renting A Slightly Nicer Stranger’s House

The Australian Federal Budget gives renters renewed hope of one day renting a slightly nicer stranger's house.

Science & Technology

Taiwan Responds To Trump’s Maybe-We-Defend-You Routine By Casually Reminding America Who Makes Literally Everything

Taiwan answers Trump's defense waffling by politely letting America remember where the chips, phones, AI servers, and global panic all come from.

Science & Technology

Dario Orders Cafeteria Staff To Water Down Juice As Anthropic Faces Compute Crisis

SAN FRANCISCO – Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei reportedly ordered cafeteria staff this week to begin watering down all office juice dispensers by 35% as…

Politics

Australians Asked If They’re Ready To Get Fucked Again When Fuel Relief Ends

Australians are being asked if they are ready to get financially ruined again when temporary fuel relief ends.