Culture

Opinion: Oil Spills Are Fine And Everyone Needs To Stop Acting Like The Ocean Didn’t Ask For A Little Shine

A suspiciously industry-friendly columnist explains why oil spills are not disasters, but tasteful surface upgrades for an underperforming ocean.

Science & Technology

Former Blue Origin Staff Say Jeff Bezos Spent Years Filling Conference Rooms With Giant Phallic Objects And Calling It Engineering

Former staffers allege the billionaire kept presenting towering cylinders, confidence silhouettes, and suspiciously regal rockets while asking everyone to be normal about it.

Politics

Internet Users Increasingly Concerned Bernie Sanders And Warren Buffett May Be The Same Elderly Man In Different Economic Modes

A side-by-side image has internet users asking whether America has one elderly man template with a tax policy slider.

Science & Technology

Long-Lost Crypto Surges 4,800% After One Guy Calls It Bitcoin For Men Who Missed Bitcoin

A dead 2017 coin with no roadmap, no developers, and one subreddit moderator named Greg1984 has become crypto's newest sacred object.

Entertainment

Paramount CTO Phil Wiser Leaves After One Last Farewell Email Nobody Made It Past

The departing tech chief left Paramount with a warm internal memo, a transition plan, and enough transformation language to fog up Outlook.

Science & Technology

Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang Ate Noodles Through Trump’s China Trip Like Everyone Else Was A Loading Screen

The Nvidia CEO joined Trump's Beijing delegation and somehow turned semiconductor diplomacy into a noodle-shop power ranking.

Science & Technology

Berkshire Tripled Its Alphabet Stake After Buffett Clicked ‘I Agree’ While Printing Dairy Queen Directions

Berkshire says it was a sober portfolio shift. Omaha sources say someone lost a fight with a Google consent banner.

Life & Style

In-N-Out Under Fire After New Kids Meal Invites Children To Meet Benny The Calf Before Eating Him

The Little Buddy Burger Combo reportedly includes fries, stickers, and a cheerful activity booklet introducing children to the mascot in their sandwich.

Life & Style

DJ Khaled Discovers Ozempic

MIAMI – Music producer and motivational fog machine DJ Khaled has unveiled a dramatically slimmer appearance this week after what sources close to the…

Science & Technology

Exclusive: Leaked Factory Photos Point To OpenAI Relay, A Smart Speaker That Lets Meetings Follow You Home

Factory images point to an unannounced OpenAI smart speaker lineup with Home, Desk, and Room tiers, because apparently the meeting needed a physical body.