Tag
Tag: Donald Trump
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Science & Technology
Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang Ate Noodles Through Trump’s China Trip Like Everyone Else Was A Loading Screen
The Nvidia CEO joined Trump's Beijing delegation and somehow turned semiconductor diplomacy into a noodle-shop power ranking.
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Music
Drake’s Three New Albums Are So Bad Trump Needs To Send Troops To Canada Immediately
After Drake dropped Iceman, Habibti, and Maid of Honour, several officials became convinced Canada had lost control of its most dangerous export.
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Politics
Strong Leadership: Trump Spent Xi’s Entire Taiwan Warning With His Eyes Closed To Better Visualize The Deal
Officials say the president was simply receiving Xi's Taiwan warning in a very interior way.
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Politics
Sweet Gesture: President Trump Gifted Xi Jinping A Pot Of Honey And Asked If China Was Finally Ready To Get Serious About Bees
President Donald Trump marked a diplomatic meeting with Xi Jinping by presenting a jar of American honey and several minutes of bee-adjacent confidence.
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Politics
Trump Celebrates 2.5 Consecutive Months Of Ending Iran War
WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump on Tuesday marked what the White House called “a historic 75-day streak” of ending the war with Iran, telling…
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Politics
Donald Trump Breaks World Record For 8-Hour Blink After White House Clarifies He Was Never Sleeping
WASHINGTON, D.C. President Donald Trump made medical history Monday after completing what White House officials are calling the longest authenticated blink ever performed by…
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Politics
Federal Inmates Praise New Culinary Era As Donald Trump Appointed Head Burger Chef
ATLANTA — In what prison officials are calling a new era toward flavor-forward rehabilitation, president Donald Trump has reportedly been promoted to Head Burger…
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Politics
Are You Tired of Winning Yet? Trump’s Tariff Tantrum Crowns Him King of the Economic Clown Show
Congratulations, America. We begged for Donald Trump’s triumphant return, and now we’re drowning in the sweet, sweet nectar of victory. One month into his…
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Politics
Supreme Court Affirms Donald Trump’s Superior Intellect in 9-0 Decision
The Supreme Court of the United States, in a unanimous decision, has ruled that the former President, Donald Trump, is in fact a genius.…
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Politics
Donald Trump Promises Gourmet Meals and Daily Yoga at New Trump Jail: Is This the Prison of the Future?
Former President Donald Trump has announced the launch of “Trump Jail,” a brand-new business venture aimed at revolutionizing the private prison industry. As Trump…
