Music

Vince Staples — Cry Baby Record Review

Vince Staples has spent the better part of a decade perfecting a style of rap that sounds like somebody documenting the collapse of modern…

Music

Dogstar Finally Releases Album For Men Who Stare Out Hotel Windows During Rainstorms

LOS ANGELES – After years of quietly existing as “Keanu Reeves’ band” in the same way artisanal mustard exists as “the thing next to…

Entertainment

Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce Officially Break Up

NEW YORK — After months of speculation, multiple insider reports, and one emotionally devastating Subway lunch order, global pop icon Taylor Swift and Travis…

Music

Country Star Returns To Roots With Song About Trucks, Heartbreak And Farmers

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Country music fans across America erupted into tears Friday after singer Wade Buckley released his latest single, “Dirt Between Us,” a…

Politics

ECONOMY IN TOILET BUT NATION URGED TO STAY POSITIVE

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With inflation surging, consumer debt exploding, grocery prices entering what experts now describe as “performance art,” and the average citizen quietly…

Politics

Gina Rinehart Quietly Assumes Role Of Australia’s Actual Prime Minister

CANBERRA – Political analysts confirmed Tuesday that mining billionaire Gina Rinehart has now fully transitioned from influential business figure to Australia’s unofficial but widely…

Entertainment

Jimmy Kimmel Needs An Exorcism

NASHVILLE – I did not arrive at this conclusion lightly. I am a Christian mother. I buy the giant cinnamon applesauce packets from Costco.…

Science & Technology

Tech Industry Eliminates 400,000 Jobs To Make Room For Exciting New AI Jobs Nobody Can Name

SAN FRANCISCO — Another week, another tech company announcing mass layoffs while explaining that artificial intelligence represents an extraordinary opportunity for workers to transition…

Science & Technology

Elon Musk Unveils X Premium Genetics, Allows Subscribers To Receive “Verified” Elon Sperm Directly Through App

AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk announced Monday that X will officially enter the fertility industry with the launch of X Premium Genetics, a subscription-based…

Science & Technology

Sam Altman Confirms OpenAI Now Capable Of Replacing Every Human Except Sam Altman

SAN FRANCISCO — OpenAI CEO Sam Altman announced Tuesday that the company’s newest AI model has officially crossed the threshold into “full-spectrum human replacement,”…