Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Politics
Federal Inmates Praise New Culinary Era As Donald Trump Appointed Head Burger Chef
ATLANTA — In what prison officials are calling a new era toward flavor-forward rehabilitation, president Donald Trump has reportedly been promoted to Head Burger…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Ronnie Radke Reportedly Ready To Drop Pro-ICE Song “Back The Badge” While the Rest of Music World Sings Out Against ICE
As artists across genres release protest songs condemning Immigration and Customs Enforcement, Falling In Reverse frontman Ronnie Radke has chosen to meet the moment…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Sources Close to Charlie Sheen Say Actor Is “Fading” as Doctors Search for Answers
LOS ANGELES—Concern is mounting around actor Charlie Sheen after sources close to the family revealed the once-indestructible star has entered what doctors are delicately…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Timothée Chalamet Has Failed Bartending School
LOS ANGELES — Timothée Chalamet has officially failed bartending school, according to sources close to the situation and at least one laminated syllabus that…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Vince Gilligan Confirms Pluribus Season 2 Will Be Run By MrBeast
Vince Gilligan used to write shows about people making awful choices in the privacy of their own secrets. Now he’s writing a show about…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
OPINION: Courtney Love Has Definitely Had People Whacked, Which Is Why Nobody Is Asking Follow Up Questions
Everyone in the music industry knows Courtney Love has definitely had people whacked. Have you ever noticed it makes the room go slightly silent…
· By Martin Finch
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Plan to Populate Mars, Says “It’s Time to Get Biblically Fruitful”
BOCA CHICA, TX — In a press conference held entirely in Latin and streamed at 2:37 AM via X (formerly Twitter), Elon Musk unveiled…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Ronnie Radke’s Vile New Low: Guzzling Animal Jizz Like a Deranged Freak
Ronnie Radke, the perpetually unhinged screamo has-been turned Falling in Reverse ringleader, has officially sunk to a level of depravity that makes his past…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Stevie Wonder Exposed: Blind Icon Caught Rollerskating in Shocking Cover-Up
Los Angeles, CA – For decades, Stevie Wonder has captivated the world with his soulful voice, masterful piano skills, and an inspiring narrative of…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Are You Tired of Winning Yet? Trump’s Tariff Tantrum Crowns Him King of the Economic Clown Show
Congratulations, America. We begged for Donald Trump’s triumphant return, and now we’re drowning in the sweet, sweet nectar of victory. One month into his…
· By Martin Finch