Category: Science & Technology

Entertainment

Paramount CTO Phil Wiser Leaves After One Last Farewell Email Nobody Made It Past

The departing tech chief left Paramount with a warm internal memo, a transition plan, and enough transformation language to fog up Outlook.

Science & Technology

Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang Ate Noodles Through Trump’s China Trip Like Everyone Else Was A Loading Screen

The Nvidia CEO joined Trump's Beijing delegation and somehow turned semiconductor diplomacy into a noodle-shop power ranking.

Science & Technology

Berkshire Tripled Its Alphabet Stake After Buffett Clicked ‘I Agree’ While Printing Dairy Queen Directions

Berkshire says it was a sober portfolio shift. Omaha sources say someone lost a fight with a Google consent banner.

Science & Technology

Exclusive: Leaked Factory Photos Point To OpenAI Relay, A Smart Speaker That Lets Meetings Follow You Home

Factory images point to an unannounced OpenAI smart speaker lineup with Home, Desk, and Room tiers, because apparently the meeting needed a physical body.

Science & Technology

Bad News: The Bond Market Remembered Inflation Exists And Started Screaming At AI Stocks

Markets were ready to believe AI had solved inflation until oil, yields, and math returned with a clipboard.

Science & Technology

Kanye West Spotted Wearing Anthropic’s New AI Safety Butt Plug

The new wearable reportedly delivers real-time constitutional feedback whenever the user attempts to start a sentence everyone in the room already regrets.

Music

Bad News For Clean Jeans: Fractal Is Readying The Release of The FM10 With Touchscreen And Enough SHARC Power To Ruin Guitar Forums

The FM9 successor reportedly keeps the sacred nine-switch footprint, adds the touchscreen everyone pretends not to want, and sells the expression pedal separately because…

Science & Technology

Musk Demands OpenAI Return To Being Weird Little Nonprofit Nobody Understood

OAKLAND, Calif. – The federal courtroom overseeing the increasingly hostile legal dispute between Elon Musk and OpenAI briefly paused Wednesday after both parties attempted…

Science & Technology

Government Finally Begins Turning Frogs Straight Again After Years Of Public Pressure

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what officials are calling “a long overdue correction to the national amphibian trajectory,” the federal government confirmed Tuesday that it…

Science & Technology

Tech Industry Eliminates 400,000 Jobs To Make Room For Exciting New AI Jobs Nobody Can Name

SAN FRANCISCO — Another week, another tech company announcing mass layoffs while explaining that artificial intelligence represents an extraordinary opportunity for workers to transition…