Category: Politics

Life & Style

North Korea Opens Beach Resort For Foreigners Who Miss Being Told Exactly Where To Stand

North Korea pitches a beach resort to burned-out foreigners seeking seafood, patriotic murals, and the strange luxury of having every decision made for them.

Politics

Bombshell: Ghislaine Maxwell Emerges As Top Republican Candidate For 2028

WASHINGTON—Convicted Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell has reportedly emerged as an early favorite in the Republican Party’s 2028 presidential field after strategists concluded she possesses…

Entertainment

No Comment: Trump Throws Stephen Colbert Into Dumpster After Final Late Show

Donald Trump marked the end of Stephen Colbert's Late Show run by placing the host in a dumpster and completing the familiar rally dance…

Politics

Public-Private Partnership: Trump Appoints Time Apple To Run Every Clock In America After Learning Tim Cook Already Works At Apple

The White House says Time Apple will coordinate iPhones, watches, daylight saving, and whatever the president thinks Apple CEO Tim Cook is called.

Politics

Opinion: I Miss When Joe Biden Would Pat Me On The Back And Call Me Sport

America has lost something important, and I am not talking about decorum, bipartisanship, or whatever cable news is mad about today.

Politics

Finally: Police Doing Their Jobs By Tackling Student Before She Could Finish Anti-Poverty Lunch

Police restored public confidence by arresting a 21-year-old anti-poverty activist during lunch before she could finish eating and continue believing poor people should have…

Politics

Huge Relief: Trump Preparing To Peacefully Leave Office In 2029 By Building A War-Capable Bunker Under The White House

The president is soothing concerns about the end of his second term with a drone-proof ballroom, a military hospital, secure infrastructure, and several floors…

Politics

Australia Needs More Negative Gearing

CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA: As the nation continues to grapple with housing affordability, rental stress, and the growing suspicion that a three-bedroom fibro in Parramatta should…

Politics

Trump Says Gas Prices Should Be Much Higher If Iran Even Thinking About Uranium

WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump said that Americans should prepare to pay “whatever the hell it takes” at the pump if there is even…

Politics

White House Denies Trump Used Two-Way Diaper During China Trade Talks

WASHINGTON—The White House has forcefully denied reports that President Donald Trump wore a “two-way diaper” during high-level China trade talks, calling the allegation “false,…