Category
Category: Life & Style
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Life & Style
Good News Everyone: Vaping Is Out and Cigarettes Are Back
Good news everyone. Vaping is out. Cigarettes are back. The glowing pods and synthetic clouds that once signaled cool detachment now read as desperate…
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Life & Style
Walmart Quietly Approaching AGI Breakthrough, Sparking Fear at Costco Headquarters
BENTONVILLE, AR – Walmart, America’s largest retailer and a staple of everyday consumerism, is reportedly close to achieving Artificial General Intelligence (AGI), sending shockwaves…
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Life & Style
Dad Crushed After Son’s “Piracy” Turns Out to Be Just Illegal Downloads
FORT WAYNE, IN – Local father Greg Hensley was reportedly “gutted” this week after discovering that his 16-year-old son Tyler’s newfound interest in “piracy”…
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Life & Style
KFC Seizes Texas in Greasy Coup, Declares State a “Chickenocracy”
PLANO, TX – Texans traded their ten-gallon hats for gravy-stained bucket lids today after Kentucky Fried Chicken executed a hostile takeover of the state…
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Life & Style
Yale University’s Big Segregation Comeback: “America’s Back, and We’ve Got the Dorms to Prove It!”
New Haven, CT – Yale University, the Ivy League’s self-proclaimed arbiter of moral superiority, has decided to dust off an old American playbook and…
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Life & Style
Pope Francis Orders Vatican to “Party Like It’s 999” as He Nears the End
ROME – With Pope Francis clinging to life in Gemelli Hospital, the Vatican dropped a bombshell Monday afternoon that has Catholics worldwide clutching their…
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Life & Style
Wellness Influencer Declares Her Body A Temple While Dropping Another MDMA Pill At Local Rave Under 5G Towers
LOS ANGELES, CA — Local wellness influencer and self-proclaimed “spiritual goddess” Luna Starbeam took to social media last night to remind her followers that…
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Life & Style
Elon Musk Offers Discounted Teslas to Women Who Agree to Carry His Offspring, Declares Himself ‘Father of Mars’
AUSTIN, TX – In his latest attempt to outdo his own absurdity, billionaire tech overlord Elon Musk has announced an unprecedented new Tesla discount…
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Life & Style
KFC’s Secret Recipe: Are KFC Behind The Mysterious Death of Jeffrey Epstein?
It has been alleged that KFC, the fast-food chain known for its delicious fried chicken, may have orchestrated the death of wealthy pedophile Jeffrey…
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Life & Style
Local Man Hears Voices, Decides to Take Out His Rage on a Warehouse Full of Paper Towels
A local man, known only as Tim, has decided to take matters into his own hands by burning down a warehouse full of paper…
