Category: Culture

Science & Technology

Leaked Memo Says Bitcoin Quietly Hired A CEO To Fix The Brand’s Male Energy

The decentralized currency reportedly wants fewer midnight chart guys and more matte-black luxury restraint.

Culture

Kanye West Lands In Iran For Peace Talks, Immediately Declares Himself “Supreme Leader Of Vibes”

Ye arrives in Iran to personally fix geopolitics, then immediately decides the whole region needs better branding.

Politics

Anthony Albanese Refuses To Extend Fuel Excise Cut Until Australians Experience One Raw-Dogged Servo Visit First

The Prime Minister says Australians may need one completely unprotected servo visit before anyone decides whether unleaded deserves mercy.

Science & Technology

Taiwan Responds To Trump’s Maybe-We-Defend-You Routine By Casually Reminding America Who Makes Literally Everything

Taiwan answers Trump's defense waffling by politely letting America remember where the chips, phones, AI servers, and global panic all come from.

Culture

Grand Theft Auto VI Leak Has Longtime Fans Quietly Asking, “Wait, Can The Game Judge You Now?”

The rumored Public Presence system allegedly tracks the real crimes: bad parking, indoor vaping, boat-ramp behavior, and making every waitress regret eye contact.

Culture

‘Still Your Friend’: Tom From MySpace Reveals He Is Waiting Online For Millennials To Come Back

Tom from MySpace is reportedly still online and waiting for millennials to return after every other platform became a slot machine with push notifications.

Culture

‘Bring Back Fear’: Brisbane Broncos Accidentally Rebuild Entire Club Around 2006 Premiership Team

The Brisbane Broncos tried to honor the 2006 premiership side and accidentally created a clubwide operating model based on wraparound Oakleys and fear.

Life & Style

Australia’s 13 Highest-Paying Jobs Are Mostly Men Near A Ute Saying The Timeline’s Blown Out

The country's top salary list is apparently just FIFO money, LinkedIn cosplay, and one man in Barangaroo measuring mindfulness engagement.

Culture

Opinion: Oil Spills Are Fine And Everyone Needs To Stop Acting Like The Ocean Didn’t Ask For A Little Shine

A suspiciously industry-friendly columnist explains why oil spills are not disasters, but tasteful surface upgrades for an underperforming ocean.

Politics

Internet Users Increasingly Concerned Bernie Sanders And Warren Buffett May Be The Same Elderly Man In Different Economic Modes

A side-by-side image has internet users asking whether America has one elderly man template with a tax policy slider.