Category: Business

Business

Punishing Progress: Slim Jim Announced A New Meat Stick Made From Several Endangered Animals And PETA Is Being Weird About It

Slim Jim says Endangered Reserve gives Americans the kind of scarcity they can taste, while PETA and several laws appear to disagree.

Science & Technology

Bad News: The Bond Market Remembered Inflation Exists And Started Screaming At AI Stocks

Markets were ready to believe AI had solved inflation until oil, yields, and math returned with a clipboard.

Music

Protecting The Consumer: Fans Are Demanding Lower Ticket Prices Because They Apparently Hate Modern Capitalism So Much

Fans say they want cheaper tickets and fewer fees, which seems suspiciously hostile to the fragile miracle of modern capitalism.

Business

Binance CEO Promises Funds are ‘Safu’ as He Flees to Country Without Extradition Treaty

Binance CEO Changpeng Zhao declared that all user funds were safe and secure following reports that he had booked a one-way flight to a…

Business

Professional Predicts Most Unbelievable Future of Stock Market: Up, Down, Up, Down

In a shocking revelation, a professional in the stock market industry has predicted that the stock market will experience a never-before-seen pattern of up,…

Business

Inflation Not Related to Balloons, According to the World’s Worst Economist

In a cringeworthy moment, the world’s worst economist has made an embarrassing mistake while attempting to explain inflation to a group of students. During…

Business

Crypto Investor Who Lost Everything Still HODLs Lambo Dream

Crypto investor John Smith, who had seen his cryptocurrency investments fall by 850% in 2022, leaving him bankrupt and without a home, has made…

Business

Warren Buffet’s Surprising Secret to Wealth: ‘Just Buy a Lot of Beanie Babies’

In a recent interview, famed investor Warren Buffet revealed his surprising secret to amassing incredible wealth: Beanie Babies. “It’s really quite simple,” Mr. Buffet…