Category
Category: Business
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Life & Style
Side Effects: Ozempic Ad Warns Users They May Start Seeing Their Marriage Clearly
The updated warning says some patients experience reduced appetite, nausea, and the sudden ability to describe what Keith has been doing for eight years.
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Life & Style
Bare Fare: Spirit Airlines Introduces $12 Option To Keep Your Knees Legally Inside Your Body
The airline said passengers deserve choice, especially when that choice concerns the basic geometry of their own legs.
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Life & Style
Hospitality: Marriott Adds In-Room Camera To Confirm Guests Are Enjoying Resort Fee
The chain said passive enjoyment can be hard to measure, especially when guests keep using words like scam in the privacy of their rooms.
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Entertainment
Synergy: Warner Bros Discovery Deal Will Finally Let CNN Report From Inside HBO Bathroom
Executives said the combined company will create prestige journalism where every breaking update carries the emotional humidity of a resort murder.
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Science & Technology
Investor Confidence: Crypto Exchange Reassures Customers Their Money Is With A Much Richer Guy Now
The company said customer assets remain safe inside the general aura of someone who owns several boats.
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Life & Style
Nurofen Launches Energy Drink For Australians Who Need To Push Through A Headache Instead Of Fixing Their Life
Nurofen Charge+ asks a brave question: what if Australians could carbonate denial and call it berry-lime recovery?
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Life & Style
Value Menu: McDonald’s Adds Surge Pricing For People Crying In Drive-Thru
The chain said late-night sobbing demand has created pricing pressure around fries, Coke, and being asked to pull forward.
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Science & Technology
Investor Relations: SpaceX Announces Free Handjobs For Anyone Who Gets In Before The IPO
The company said fleece vests no longer captured the depth of shareholder gratitude.
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Business
Bad News: The Endangered Animal McDonald’s Was Using In Its Soft Serve Has Officially Gone Extinct
McDonald's faces a dessert texture crisis after the endangered animal allegedly holding its soft serve together goes extinct.
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Business
Carnival Announces Disease Transparency Initiative After Passengers Ask Why Floating Buffets Full Of Retired Strangers Still Exist
Cruise lines promise real-time cough maps and vomit alerts as passengers continue booking giant wet malls with buffet access.
