Author
Author: Monica Smith
Monica Smith covers national politics, diplomacy, and ceremonial gestures that somehow become policy.
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Politics
Bombshell: Ghislaine Maxwell Emerges As Top Republican Candidate For 2028
WASHINGTON—Convicted Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell has reportedly emerged as an early favorite in the Republican Party’s 2028 presidential field after strategists concluded she possesses…
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Entertainment
No Comment: Trump Throws Stephen Colbert Into Dumpster After Final Late Show
Donald Trump marked the end of Stephen Colbert's Late Show run by placing the host in a dumpster and completing the familiar rally dance…
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Politics
Finally: Police Doing Their Jobs By Tackling Student Before She Could Finish Anti-Poverty Lunch
Police restored public confidence by arresting a 21-year-old anti-poverty activist during lunch before she could finish eating and continue believing poor people should have…
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Politics
Huge Relief: Trump Preparing To Peacefully Leave Office In 2029 By Building A War-Capable Bunker Under The White House
The president is soothing concerns about the end of his second term with a drone-proof ballroom, a military hospital, secure infrastructure, and several floors…
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Opinion
I Used To Think Barack Obama Was Disappointing. Then America Replaced Him With Donald Trump
WASHINGTON – I used to think Barack Obama was disappointing. I thought he compromised too much. I thought he talked too long. I thought…
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Politics
White House Denies Trump Used Two-Way Diaper During China Trade Talks
WASHINGTON—The White House has forcefully denied reports that President Donald Trump wore a “two-way diaper” during high-level China trade talks, calling the allegation “false,…
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Politics
Anthony Albanese Refuses To Extend Fuel Excise Cut Until Australians Experience One Raw-Dogged Servo Visit First
The Prime Minister says Australians may need one completely unprotected servo visit before anyone decides whether unleaded deserves mercy.
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Politics
Australian Federal Budget Expands Dream Of One Day Renting A Slightly Nicer Stranger’s House
The Australian Federal Budget gives renters renewed hope of one day renting a slightly nicer stranger's house.
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Science & Technology
Taiwan Responds To Trump’s Maybe-We-Defend-You Routine By Casually Reminding America Who Makes Literally Everything
Taiwan answers Trump's defense waffling by politely letting America remember where the chips, phones, AI servers, and global panic all come from.
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Politics
Australians Asked If They’re Ready To Get Fucked Again When Fuel Relief Ends
Australians are being asked if they are ready to get financially ruined again when temporary fuel relief ends.
