Patriot Points: ICE Launches Rewards Card For Americans Who Turn In Five Coworkers
Officials said the program will make enforcement feel more like coffee loyalty and less like something everyone used to pretend was ugly.
ICE has launched a new Patriot Points card that rewards Americans for turning in five coworkers, neighbors, or men from the job site whose lunch smells like something the office has decided to fear.
The punch-card program lets participants earn escalating benefits, including a commemorative lanyard, expedited suspicion processing, and one free background check on a person who parked too close to their mailbox.
"Enforcement works best when it feels familiar," said DHS loyalty engagement adviser Marcy Kroll. "Americans understand points. They understand tiers. They understand silently collecting proof that the dishwasher at work has two different names on Venmo."
Officials said the card is not meant to encourage paranoia, only to organize it into a clean federal interface with seasonal bonuses and push notifications.
Employees who turn in a manager will receive double points during the summer enforcement window, because the government knows where workplace resentment lives.
