Category
Category: Music
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Music
Breaking News: Tosin Abasi Unveils His Secret Sauce to Musical Success – You Won’t Believe What He Says Next!
NEW YORK, NY – Tosin Abasi, the enigmatic and suave motherfucker from the progressive metal band Animals As Leaders, has finally revealed his secret…
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Music
EXCLUSIVE: Misha Mansoor Caught in Scandalous Orgy with Periphery Fans
Renowned progressive metal guitarist Misha Mansoor, better known by his stage name “Bulb,” was caught red-handed in a scandalous orgy with a group of…
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Music
Ronnie Radke: The Peeing Messiah of Modern Music
Falling In Reverse’s enigmatic frontman, Ronnie Radke, has recently been caught in a controversy following a series of inexplicable public urination incidents. As expected,…
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Music
Corey Taylor Weighs In On the Shape of the Earth: “It’s Complicated, But Also, Not Really”
Corey Taylor, the Slipknot frontman known for his insightful commentary on everything from the existential dread of existence to the correct method of eating…
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Music
Review: SUPERBLOOM by Silent Planet
Buckle up for a journey into the latest auditory anomaly unleashed by the paradoxically named Silent Planet with their album SUPERBLOOM. This album screams…
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Music
Jordan Fish of Bring Me The Horizon Inks Multi-Year Deal with Architects
Jordan Fish, the synth maestro of Bring Me The Horizon, has inked a historic multi-year contract with rival band Architects. The contract, rumored to…
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Music
Mac DeMarco Eyeing Off The Last Sandwich At The Office Christmas Party
It’s the office Christmas party, and everyone is gathered around the refreshment table. Platters of snacks, cookies, and other festive treats abound. But there’s…
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Music
The Music Industry Needs More Gatekeeping
Ah, musical snobbery, the unsung hero we never knew we needed. You see, folks, we’ve reached a point of no return, a cacophonous quagmire…
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Music
Metalcore Band Pioneers “Middle-Management Metal,” Releases Album Titled “Soul-Crushing Synergy”
Buckle up, emo kids and metalcore enthusiasts! The genre that once gave you the perfect soundtrack for your teen angst is evolving, and it’s…
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Music
The Weeknd’s Latest Announcement Will Melt Your Face Off – Literally!
Stop the presses and hold onto your hairpieces, because The Weeknd just dropped a bombshell that’s about to explode your mundane Monday into a…
