Music

David Draiman Reveals Disturbed’s New Album Will Drop ‘Whenever the Voices in My Head Tell Me To’

Chicago, IL – In a surprise move, Disturbed frontman David Draiman announced that the band’s highly-anticipated new album will be released “whenever the voices…

Life & Style

Elon Musk Finds Gem-Encrypted Dogecoin Mine, Raises the Stakes in Meme Economy!

Cupertino, CA – Tech billionaire and part-time Martian hopeful Elon Musk has once again shocked the world as he announces the unearthing of a…

Life & Style

Papa John’s Takes a Big Slice of the Woke Pie With Revolutionary Gender-Neutral Pizzas!

Pizza aficionados, brace yourselves – the pizza world as we know it is about to change! If you thought Nike and Bud Light cornered…

Music

Eric Clapton Has Had Enough! Gives Crowd the Middle Finger During Sold-Out Concert

Legendary musician Eric Clapton reportedly flipped off the entire crowd during a sold-out concert at London’s O2 Arena last night. The incident occurred during…

Science & Technology

Neil Armstrong’s True Legacy: The Man He Left on the Moon for Some Space Rocks

You may have heard the famous saying, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” – well, we bet you haven’t heard…

Music

Local Metal Band Shocks Fans by Going Woke at Sold-Out Concert

In a move that has left fans scratching their heads and reaching for their earplugs, local metal band Iron Will took a sharp turn…

Music

Donald Trump Offers to Rat on 6ix9ine in Desperate Bid for Reduced Sentence

As the walls close in on Donald Trump, who now faces more than 30 counts of business fraud charges filed by New York District…

Life & Style

Walmart Announces Plan to Inspire Shoppers with Uplifting Anthem ‘Another Day, Another Dollar’

In a bold move to boost morale and inspire its shoppers, Walmart has announced plans to play motivational music through its loudspeakers. The retail…

Life & Style

Anheuser-Busch Throws a Bone to the Right: Introducing the KKK Edition Bud Light

Just when you thought Anheuser-Busch couldn’t be any more controversial, they’ve set the bar higher (or lower, depending on your perspective) by introducing their…

Politics

Trump Declares ‘World War III’ after Taco Bell Binge – Bathroom Salutes the Fallen

Palms Springs, FL – Just when we thought the verdict was in on former President Donald Trump’s social media career, he resurfaces like a…