Category: Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Mark Zuckerberg Requests Updates to His Software to Be Able to Express New Emotions to be More Relatable to Facebook Users

Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Facebook, has requested updates to his software that will allow him to express new emotions to better connect with…

Science & Technology

Neural DSP Declares End to Capitalism with Archetype: Tom Morello

HELSINKI, FINLAND — In a ballsy move that would make Karl Marx break into an air guitar solo, Neural DSP has just announced the…

Science & Technology

Elon Musk’s death beam satellite: a game-changer or a recipe for disaster?

In an announcement that surprised no one, Elon Musk revealed that his latest invention, a death beam satellite, is almost complete. But fear not.…

Science & Technology

Horny Twitter Users Rejoice: Elon Musk Announces New Checkmark

Twitter seems to be taking the “thirst” game to the next level. Tossy tech billionaire Elon Musk announced that Twitter would be adding a…

Science & Technology

Child Prodigy’s New Power Source Threatens Tesla Empire: Elon Musk Sends Henchmen to Sabotage

The world of renewable energy is about to be turned upside down, and Elon Musk is shaking in his space boots. In a quaint…

Science & Technology

Neil Armstrong’s True Legacy: The Man He Left on the Moon for Some Space Rocks

You may have heard the famous saying, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” – well, we bet you haven’t heard…

Science & Technology

Epic Fail! Bill Gates Accidentally Releases Vaccine for Next Pandemic Virus That He Hasn’t Released Yet

Seattle, WA: Microsoft mogul and technology soothsayer Bill Gates has done it again – and this time, it’s a doozy. In an epic display…

Science & Technology

George Soros Swipes New York Times with a $7 Lifeline: Twitter Blue Checkmark Drama Unfolds!

Billionaire philanthropist George Soros has swooped in to save the floundering New York Times from the embarrassment of losing its coveted blue checkmark on…

Science & Technology

Elon Musk’s Generous Clown-Face Gift Leaves New York Times Red-Nosed and Speechless!

New York, NY – The New York Times Twitter account has lost its coveted blue checkmark after refusing to pay a measly $7 monthly…

Science & Technology

Bitcoin Plunges to Unseen Depths, Hodlers Insist It’s Just Practicing Limbo for the Afterparty!

As the price of Bitcoin, the digital currency that’s one power outage away from oblivion, spirals downward into the abyss of financial despair, its…