Category
Category: Politics
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Politics
Federal Budget Reveals Australians Technically Still Rich If You Ignore Everything They Spend Money On
CANBERRA — Treasurer Jim Chalmers unveiled the 2026 federal budget Tuesday night, confirming the Albanese government’s bold new economic strategy of giving Australians $14…
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Politics
Donald Trump Breaks World Record For 8-Hour Blink After White House Clarifies He Was Never Sleeping
WASHINGTON, D.C. President Donald Trump made medical history Monday after completing what White House officials are calling the longest authenticated blink ever performed by…
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Politics
Federal Inmates Praise New Culinary Era As Donald Trump Appointed Head Burger Chef
ATLANTA — In what prison officials are calling a new era toward flavor-forward rehabilitation, president Donald Trump has reportedly been promoted to Head Burger…
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Politics
Are You Tired of Winning Yet? Trump’s Tariff Tantrum Crowns Him King of the Economic Clown Show
Congratulations, America. We begged for Donald Trump’s triumphant return, and now we’re drowning in the sweet, sweet nectar of victory. One month into his…
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Politics
We Interviewed JD Vance, and It Got Weirdly Threatening
When I arrived at Vice President JD Vance’s office for what I assumed would be a run-of-the-mill political interview, I had no clue I…
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Politics
Supreme Court Affirms Donald Trump’s Superior Intellect in 9-0 Decision
The Supreme Court of the United States, in a unanimous decision, has ruled that the former President, Donald Trump, is in fact a genius.…
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Politics
Donald Trump Promises Gourmet Meals and Daily Yoga at New Trump Jail: Is This the Prison of the Future?
Former President Donald Trump has announced the launch of “Trump Jail,” a brand-new business venture aimed at revolutionizing the private prison industry. As Trump…
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Politics
Donald Trump Announces Plan to Build World’s Largest Swamp-Pumping Station
Former President Donald Trump, the swamp drainer extraordinaire, has announced that he will “drain the swamp properly” if he wins the 2024 presidential election.…
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Politics
President Biden Announces Plans to Drop Nukes on Both Israel and Palestine
The global community has been left in utter shock as Israel continues its relentless bombing campaign against Gaza, leaving the city in ruins. Despite…
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Politics
Joe Biden Unveils Groundbreaking New Vibrator: The Bidenator, Continuing to Fuck the American Public in Unprecedented Ways
Wilmington, DE – In a move that can only be described as both ingenious and terrifying, President Joe Biden has taken his dedication to…
