Category
Category: Music
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Music
Album Review: All Them Witches’ House Of Mirrors Is A Blistering Descent Into Whatever Is Happening In My Ceiling
Our critic went track by track through All Them Witches' new album and came back with notes on haunted furniture, wet internet rope, and…
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Music
Sick Little Fuck: Pusha T Was Apparently Ready For The Diddy Do It Tour Before Someone Read The Island Name Out Loud
A cursed tour-poster mockup reportedly placed Pusha T, Diddy, Jay-Z, French Montana, and Rick Ross on one private island bill no publicist could survive.
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Music
Civic Duty: Chappell Roan Fans Mistook A Routine City Council Meeting For A Secret Album Rollout
Officials say the public-comment period was never intended to function as an encrypted pop announcement, despite several persuasive hats in attendance.
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Music
Damage Control: The Hives Clarify Their Onstage Hard-Ons Are Load-Bearing
The Hives say fans misunderstood the hard-ons they walk onstage with, which are apparently structural supports keeping the whole show upright.
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Music
Parkway Drive Members Stunned To Learn Man Everyone Called Chode Was Giving Off Chode Vibes The Whole Time
Fans revisiting old Parkway Drive footage are asking how everyone missed the warning sign of a man known exclusively as Chode.
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Music
Sleep Token Announce New Album Salt Cathedral And Absolutely No One Is Allowed To Admit It Might Just Be About Salt
Sleep Token announce Salt Cathedral, forcing fans to decode salt, water sounds, deluxe vinyl packaging, and whether the whole thing might just be about…
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Music
Species Fraud: Doja Cat Exposed As Lying Little Scoundrel Who Is Not Actually A Cat
The artist reportedly failed several basic feline tests, including the laser pointer, the cardboard box, and pretending not to hear her own name.
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Music
Humiliating: Sleep Token’s Vessel Got Sick On A Renaissance Fair Rollercoaster And Slurred ‘I’m Vessel’ At A Concerned Falconer
The masked frontman reportedly lost the ancient mystery after one lap on a child-sized dragon coaster and a heroic paper cup of water.
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Music
Please Respect The Lore: The Strokes Ask Fans To Remember Their Early NY Days Hard Enough To Replace Nick Valensi
The band said Valensi's temporary break will be covered by Steve Schiltz, several guitars, and the public's remaining supply of Lower East Side memory.
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Music
Customer Is Always Right: Jason Tate Walked Out Of Subway After Refusing To Recognize Sandwich Artist As A Real Artist
The AbsolutePunk founder reportedly covered raw materials but refused to financially validate fake art.
