Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Opinion
Guitar Amplifiers Are For Losers
It’s time to face the facts: guitar amplifiers are for losers. I know, I know, they’ve been a staple in the music industry for…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Metal Bands Utilize Virtual Reality to Hide Sweatshop Reality
In a desperate attempt to hide the truth from their fans, metal bands worldwide have begun to utilize virtual reality (VR) headsets to cover…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Michigan Concertgoer Loses Three Teeth at Local Metal Show, “The best gig I’ve ever been to”
Local Flint, Michigan man Bob Smith was punched in the mouth by the lead vocalist of a controversial local metal band and lost three…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Your Uncle Billy Just Slipped You a Fifty to Play Hold the Line by Toto Through the Bluetooth Speaker. What Are You Going to Do?
Ah, Uncle Billy. Always one for the classics! You were expecting a classic from Nirvana or Led Zeppelin, but Uncle Billy has something else…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Emo Pop-punk Turned Deathcore Band Announces Their “Heaviest Album Yet”
Broken Hearts and Wrist Marks have just announced the release of their heaviest album yet. The album, titled ‘Hyper-Gravitational’, is said to be so…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Elon Musk calls out Lorna Shore fans on Twitter
Tech mogul Elon Musk has called out fans of deathcore band Lorna Shore for their lack of vocal criticism over the group’s recent decision…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Uh Oh: Justin Bieber Has Been Caught Moonlighting as a Jingle Writer for Pharmaceutical Companies
It was recently revealed that renowned pop star Justin Bieber had been secretly moonlighting as a professional jingle writer. The singer, who has long…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Morrissey Announces new far right merchandise line
In a shocking turn of events, the beloved alternative rock icon Morrissey has announced the launch of his latest merchandise line, ‘Morrissey and the…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Guy Fieri Announces New Metal Band and Tracklist For Self-titled Album
The world of heavy metal music was rocked today with the announcement that celebrity chef Guy Fieri is launching a metal band. The band,…
· By Martin Finch
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Opinion
Has Periphery Guitarist Misha Mansoor Sold Out to Big Pharma?
It’s no secret that Misha Mansoor has been a major figure in the metal and progressive rock community for years. His band, Periphery, has…
· By Martin Finch