Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Music
Headstrong and Headlong: Ronnie Radke Overhauls Popular Monstour Lineup, Welcomes Trapt, As I Lay Dying, Black Veil Brides, Design the Skyline, Attila, and Five Finger Death Punch!
In the wake of Spiritbox’s exit, Ronnie Radke did what he does best and shook things up for Falling In Reverse’s upcoming tour, transforming…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Mike Pence’s Perfect Poker Face: Former VP Expresses Shock at Donald Trump Indictment, Swears He Knew Nothing
Filed under: strategic memory loss Former Vice President Mike Pence convened an impromptu press conference to express his “shock and disbelief” upon learning that…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
OMG! Rock Star Brendan Urie Solves the Ultimate Baby-Making Mystery – Exclusive Inside Scoop!
Los Angeles, CA – In an unexpected and wildly unanticipated move, Panic! At The Disco’s lead singer, Brendan Urie, took to Twitter last night…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Man Who Fears Transgender People in Women’s Bathrooms, Clearly Has Never Heard of Unisex Bathrooms
Greenville, SC – A local man is causing controversy after speaking out against a new policy that allows transgender people to use the bathroom…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Joe Biden’s Fruity Solution to Financial Crisis: ‘There’s Always Money in the Banana Stand’
Washington, D.C. – As the nation grapples with the shocking collapse of several major banks, including the high-profile Silicon Valley Bank, President Joe Biden…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Manhattan Meltdown: Donald Trump Faces Indictment, Announces ‘Take Back the Nation’ Tour with Surprise Musical Guests
Manhattan, NY — Just when you thought 2023 couldn’t get any weirder, it’s been revealed that former President Donald Trump is facing imminent indictment,…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Report: 99% of People Who Own Vinyl Are Posers That Don’t Vinyl Players and Will Die Alone With Zero Integrity
In a recent report released by the Music Appreciation Association, it has been discovered that an astounding 99% of people who purchase vinyl records…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Move Over Biden, 13-Year-Old Prodigy Announces Presidential Bid for 2060
A 13-year-old child from middle America announced his candidacy for President of the United States in 2060. The precocious young lad, who prefers to…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
World Leaders on Edge as Joe Biden Endorses ICC Warrant, Vladimir Putin Pledges to Turn Himself In After One Last Ride on Bear
In a move that could have been ripped straight from a Hollywood spy thriller, President Joe Biden has officially welcomed the International Criminal Court’s…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Kanye’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams: Yeezy Shoes and CDs Now Sold by the Man Himself on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame
Hollywood, CA – In a scene with fans and foes shaking their heads, Kanye West, the once-untouchable music mogul, has been spotted peddling Yeezy…
· By Martin Finch