Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Politics
Air Force One Touches Down, World Leaders Tremble as Biden Debuts the Presidential Hokey Pokey
President Joe Biden sent shockwaves through the global community by exiting Air Force One and immediately launching into a groundbreaking Hokey Pokey performance. International…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
The Secret Taylor Swift Fan: ‘I Don’t Like Pop Music’ He Says, As He Sings ‘Shake It Off’
Bob Johnson, a self-proclaimed ‘pop-hater’, has been fooling his friends and family for years. He’s always been very vocal about his dislike for radio…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Tim Lambesis of As I Lay Dying Blames Steroids for Slumping Ticket Sales
San Diego, CA – As ticket sales for As I Lay Dying’s latest tour continue to nosedive, frontman Tim Lambesis has resorted to an…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
The Great St. Paddy’s Conspiracy: Liver Specialists Caught Green-Handed in Creating World’s Booziest Holiday
Dublin, Ireland – As the world dons green attire, chugs copious amounts of beer and pretends to be Irish for a day, a shocking…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Elon Musk Seizes Control of World with Terror Drones
In a shocking move of global domination, tech mogul Elon Musk has unleashed his army of terror drones and has seized control of the…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Ukraine on the Brink of Victory: Just a Few More Dollars and Your Hilarious Memes to Crush Russia!
Kyiv, Ukraine – In an unprecedented development, Ukraine has declared that it’s just a few dollars short of achieving total victory in the war…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Ronnie Radke the Andrew Tate of Alt Music Gets Himself Cancelled: A Story of Misogyny, Racism, and Terrible Music.
Las Vegas, NV – Ronnie Radke, the lead singer of Falling in Reverse, has found himself in hot water yet again. This time, it’s…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
The Blacklist Season 10 Plot to be ‘Completely Bonkers,’ Producers Confirm
In a recent interview, the producers of the hit crime drama The Blacklist confirmed that the show’s tenth season will be “completely bonkers.” The…
· By Martin Finch
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Reviews
Album Review: Avenged Sevenfold’s “Life is But a Dream…” is a Wild, Constitutional Alien Ride That’ll Make You Question Everything You Thought You Knew About Music
Ah, Avenged Sevenfold. The band churning out rock anthems since the dawn of time (or at least the early 2000s) has graced us with…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Fox News Reveals Shocking Conspiracy: Hilary Clinton and Lizard People Conspire to Overthrow Government
Washington D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Fox News has revealed that the January 6 insurrection at the Capitol was not, in…
· By Martin Finch