Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Life & Style
Special Investigation: Vegan Who Refuses to Use Fluoride Toothpaste, Eat Meat, or Anything Unnatural Definitely Going to Take MDMA Pills Made in a Bathtub, Later Tonight at a Club
Self-proclaimed “pure” vegan was caught on camera purchasing a bag of illegal MDMA pills, made in a bathtub, at a club later tonight. The…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Big Apple Turned Orange: Donald Trump Seizes Control of NYPD and Declares Himself King of New York
New York, NY – In a masterful display of political maneuvering, former President Donald Trump has seized control of the New York Police Department,…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Father John Misty Becomes Priest After Years of Singing Profanities
After years of singing profanities and writing songs about the dark side of life, singer-songwriter Father John Misty has decided to take a new…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Nickelback Shocked to Learn That People Have Hated Their Music for Years
Nickelback was in for a surprise when they learned that people have disliked their music for years. Bandleader Chad Kroeger had this to say:…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Dr Dre Forced to Admit He’s Not a Real Doctor After Failing to Save Fan’s Life at Eminem Concert
A shocking revelation has come to light that Dr Dre, a legendary rapper and producer, is not a licensed medical doctor. The truth came…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Trump Goes Bananas: Former President Announces 2024 Banana Stand Campaign
Former President Donald Trump has announced his plans to run for the highest office in the land in 2024 – from the helm of…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Special Report: KFC’s Secret Recipe Finally Exposed, We’re Now On the Run
Vanflip has obtained a copy of the long-sought-after KFC 11 herbs and spices recipe in an exclusive scoop. After months of digging and piecing…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
The Fall of Fallon: Late-Night Host’s Overzealous Laughter Sparks Audience Revolt!
Late-night talk show host Jimmy Fallon has long been known for his seemingly boundless enthusiasm and laughter, but his fondness for exaggerated guffaws has…
· By Martin Finch
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Opinion
Why Are Guitar Manufacturers Still Selling Six String Guitars When We Only Need One?
Guitar manufacturers are the ultimate scam artists. We’re being taken for a ride with the six strings they attach to every guitar. We only…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Hillary Clinton Offers Her Condolences to the Trump Family After Donald Trump Tragically Commits Suicide in His Cell Next Week
Hillary Clinton has offered her condolences to the Trump family for the former president’s ‘suicide,’ next week upon the news he is being indicted…
· By Martin Finch