Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
-
Music
Metalheads Brace for Impact as Self-Proclaimed ‘Tough Guy’ Announces Pit Appearance
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the metal community, Chuck “The Crusher” Green, a self-proclaimed tough guy, has announced his intention to…
· By Martin Finch
-
Entertainment
Move Over, Hitchcock: Tommy Wiseau Unleashes a Furry Nightmare in His Latest Cinematic Disasterpiece!
Los Angeles, CA – Hold on to your seats, cinephiles! The enigmatic and consistently perplexing Tommy Wiseau is back in the director’s chair, this…
· By Martin Finch
-
Science & Technology
The Crypto-CEO Life: Binance Pauses Trading While CZ Jets Off with Suitcases of Cash
In a move that has both cryptocurrency enthusiasts and skeptics shaking their heads in disbelief, Binance, the world’s largest cryptocurrency exchange, has temporarily suspended…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
Sleep Token Who? The Deftones-Inspired Sleep Tolkien Is Your New Musical Obsession!
If you’re a fan of Sleep Token, the British atmospheric metal band known for their cryptic, emotional performances, then it’s time to set your…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
Ed Sheeran’s ‘Eyes Closed’: World Ponders, Is the Apocalypse Upon Us?
NORWICH, UK – Just when the world believed it had reached peak suffering, Ed Sheeran, ginger-haired bard of the millennial age, has unleashed his…
· By Martin Finch
-
Music
Slipknot Fans Rejoice as Corey Taylor Leads Successful Coup in Australia
Sydney, Australia – Heavy metal band Slipknot has caused a stir in the land down under by leading a successful coup against the Australian…
· By Martin Finch
-
Life & Style
Federal Reserve Insists Economy is Simultaneously Soaring and Crashing
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Federal Reserve, led by Chair Jerome H. Powell, who may or may not be a time-traveling wizard, announced today that…
· By Martin Finch
-
Science & Technology
Crypto Scammers Hack Linus Tech Tips: Fans Devastated by Channel’s Swift Return
Vancouver, BC – Fans of the popular YouTube channel Linus Tech Tips were recently thrown for a loop when the account was hacked by…
· By Martin Finch
-
Politics
Ted Cruz Dodges Zodiac Accusations as Trump Indictment Grabs Spotlight: Snack Attacks Ensue
Washington, D.C. – Senator Ted Cruz can finally breathe a sigh of relief as Donald Trump’s recent New York indictment rumors have captured the…
· By Martin Finch
-
Politics
Donald Trump to Be Indicted for Leaving Toilet Seat Up in 2017
New York, NY – Former President Donald Trump has been indicted by New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg for the heinous crime of leaving…
· By Martin Finch