Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Music
Wake Dollar: The Band That Hides Behind Masks Because They’re All Cancelled Musicians
Filed under: not Sleep Token Up-and-coming band Wake Dollar has decided to hide behind masks at all times in order to conceal the fact…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Slipknot Finally Admits: We’re Not Actually a Band About Tying Knots
After years of confusion and misunderstandings, Slipknot, the Grammy-award-winning heavy metal band, has finally come clean about their true identity. In a shocking press…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Lorna Shore Conspiracy Revealed: Band Just a Group of Robots Controlled by the Government
It turns out that the deathcore band Lorna Shore is not made up of flesh and blood human beings but rather a group of…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Mike Tyson’s ‘Wise’ Insight into the Music Industry Leaves Everyone Baffled
After an in-depth interview with the legendary Mike Tyson, it appears the only insight he had to offer into the future of the music…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
EPIC FAIL: Periphery Plays Entire Gig Without Realizing Their Instruments Were Replaced With a Macbook Pro
Periphery recently performed an entire gig without realizing that their instruments had been mysteriously replaced with a Macbook Pro. The band had just begun…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
System of A Down Announces Surprise Album: ‘Yoga for Beginners’
The popular alternative metal band System of A Down has announced a surprise new album, titled ‘Yoga for Beginners.’ The album will be released…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Wholesome: This Small-Town Cop Doesn’t Shoot Unarmed Civilians
In the small, sleepy town of Squeezyville, Officer Ronald Jones has been uniquely keeping the peace. Officer Jones’ approach to policing differs from his…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Big Brother China: Get Ready to Be Watched – Without Any Reward!
In a move that has shocked and delighted Chinese citizens, the Chinese government has decided to take their nation’s extensive surveillance network and CCTV…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Axed Fox News Host Tucker Carlson Launches Twitter-Based Show, Starts by Attacking Starbucks Barista Over Aspartame Conspiracy
Recently ousted from Fox News, Tucker Carlson took his professional rage machine to the Twittersphere by launching his own streaming show. In a shocking…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Periphery Fans Pretend Microphone Still Works at Sold-Out Show
At Periphery’s latest concert, the microphone stopped working halfway through the band’s set, and fans pretended as though nothing was wrong. “It was honestly…
· By Martin Finch