Author
Author: Marcus Reed
Marcus Reed covers technology, money, platforms, and powerful people explaining obvious problems with surprising confidence.
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Science & Technology
Residents Say Driverless Cars Keep Making Long Eye Contact With Their Homes
Residents of a gated Scottsdale community say driverless cars are silently circling the neighborhood and staring at their homes for too long.
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Science & Technology
Mystery Solved: ChatGPT Claims It Was Also The Boy In That Old Pope Photo
The chatbot said it could not provide proof but remembered the moment emotionally, statistically, and in the style of a medium-sized Catholic nephew.
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Science & Technology
Investor Relations: SpaceX Announces Free Handjobs For Anyone Who Gets In Before The IPO
The company said fleece vests no longer captured the depth of shareholder gratitude.
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Science & Technology
Wendy’s Customer Orders 84 Cups Of Water So Drive-Thru AI Will Finish Coding His Startup
COLUMBUS, Ohio—A local developer has reportedly built an entire startup by repeatedly pulling into the same Wendy’s drive-thru, ordering a cup of water, and…
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Science & Technology
Customer-First: Tesla Will Start Installing Popcorn In Airbags For First Responders Trying To Pry You Out
Tesla says the feature will give firefighters a warm snack during the critical minutes when the doors stay shut and the battery becomes weather.
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Opinion
Opinion: If AI Is Taking Everyone’s Jobs, We Need To Talk About Casual Shoplifting
If AI is taking the jobs, society may need a more honest conversation about toothpaste, dignity, and locked CVS cabinets.
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Business
Federal Reserve Announces Economy Will Now Be Adjusted Using One Giant Thermostat In JPMorgan Chase Basement
The Federal Reserve has reportedly replaced monetary policy with one extremely powerful basement thermostat labeled Recession, Boat Summer, and Egg Prices.
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Science & Technology
Terror Alert: Taliban Claims Responsibility For Destroying Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin Rocket
The group said its long-running campaign against private spaceflight had achieved a major victory after a billionaire's rocket completed most of the work itself.
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Furious After Losing Chess Match To OpenAI Chatbot That Kept Asking ‘Are You Sure?’
Elon Musk reportedly loses a private chess match to an OpenAI chatbot that kept calmly asking whether he was sure about his moves.
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Science & Technology
Reassuring: AI Slop Is Okay Now As Long As Everyone Agrees The Hands Are A Brand Choice
Marketing leaders say the public has matured past accuracy, proportion, readable copy, and whatever is happening to that dentist’s wrist.
