Author
Author: Marcus Reed
Marcus Reed covers technology, money, platforms, and powerful people explaining obvious problems with surprising confidence.
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Science & Technology
Former White Castle Employees Say Elon Musk Spent The Mid-’90s Carrying A Bucket Of ‘White Sauce’ And Calling It Humanity’s Backup Plan
Former White Castle coworkers allegedly remember the billionaire as an overnight-shift sauce visionary with a bucket, a population chart, and no respect for refrigeration.
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Science & Technology
Literacy Crisis: Neo-Nazis Showed Up To Mira Murati’s Neopets Demo After Misreading The Announcement
Former OpenAI executive Mira Murati reportedly unveiled a wholesome virtual-pet revival to investors, nostalgic millennials, and several men who stopped reading after “neo.”
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Science & Technology
Filthy: Nikita Boar Triple-Dipped In The Bacon Dip With His Greedy Little Snout
Witnesses say the X product head went snout-first into the communal bacon ranch, turning one kitchen island into a tiny barnyard tribunal.
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Science & Technology
Cosmic Horror: Neil deGrasse Tyson Lost A Quarter Down The Couch And Keeps Calling It An Event Horizon
The astrophysicist says the coin has not vanished, merely crossed into a region of spacetime where loose change and remote controls stop returning calls.
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Politics
Public-Private Partnership: Trump Appoints Time Apple To Run Every Clock In America After Learning Tim Cook Already Works At Apple
The White House says Time Apple will coordinate iPhones, watches, daylight saving, and whatever the president thinks Apple CEO Tim Cook is called.
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Science & Technology
Opinion: Spotify’s Disco Ball Logo Was Good And Everyone Who Complained Should Have Their Wrapped Read Aloud In Court
For one beautiful week, a music app finally admitted it was a glowing little shame orb that knew every bad decision you made after…
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Culture
Bombshell Expose: After A Six-Month Investigation, We Can Reveal Bryan Johnson Is Being Raised By His Own Blood Work
The Blueprint founder has been called a tech entrepreneur, a longevity obsessive, and the man who wants to live forever. Our findings suggest something…
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Science & Technology
Gary Marcus Announces IRS “Will Never See A Fucking Nickel,” Challenges Federal Government To “Pull Up”
NEW YORK — Cognitive scientist and AI critic Gary Marcus reportedly spent most of Tuesday afternoon posting through it after declaring that the Internal…
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Science & Technology
Convenience: Tesla Announces Cybertruck Will Now Arrive With Factory-Installed Rust Spots
Tesla streamlines Cybertruck ownership by delivering its stainless steel pickup with factory-installed rust spots already included.
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Science & Technology
Local Developer Burning 38 Million AI Tokens A Month Still Bravely Has No Product, Users, Or Clear Idea What He Is Building
A solo founder is burning millions of AI tokens a month, generating code at heroic speed, and still has no product anyone can use.
