Author
Author: Marcus Reed
Marcus Reed covers technology, money, platforms, and powerful people explaining obvious problems with surprising confidence.
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Science & Technology
End Of An Era: Pope Leo XIV Announces He Is Stepping Down From Anthropic
The pontiff thanked the company for the opportunity to help Mythos discover zero-days while retaining a faint but unmistakable sense of shame.
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Science & Technology
Leaked Memo Says Bitcoin Quietly Hired A CEO To Fix The Brand’s Male Energy
The decentralized currency reportedly wants fewer midnight chart guys and more matte-black luxury restraint.
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk Announces Starlink Upgrades, Here’s What It Means For Your Sex Toys
HAWTHORNE, CA – Elon Musk has announced sweeping upgrades to the Starlink satellite network that he says will deliver internet speeds “approaching the speed…
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Science & Technology
Tech Leaders Promise AI Will Not Replace Humans, Merely Reassign Them As Organic Battery Units
Tech leaders reassure workers that AI will not replace them, only reassign them as warm stationary battery units for server infrastructure.
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Science & Technology
Tibo From OpenAI Has Been Quietly Taking Money From Big Reset, Which Explains The Button
SAN FRANCISCO — Thibault Sottiaux, the OpenAI member of technical staff closely associated with Codex, has been quietly receiving payments from the reset button…
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Politics
Internet Users Increasingly Concerned Bernie Sanders And Warren Buffett May Be The Same Elderly Man In Different Economic Modes
A side-by-side image has internet users asking whether America has one elderly man template with a tax policy slider.
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Science & Technology
Long-Lost Crypto Surges 4,800% After One Guy Calls It Bitcoin For Men Who Missed Bitcoin
A dead 2017 coin with no roadmap, no developers, and one subreddit moderator named Greg1984 has become crypto's newest sacred object.
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Science & Technology
Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang Ate Noodles Through Trump’s China Trip Like Everyone Else Was A Loading Screen
The Nvidia CEO joined Trump's Beijing delegation and somehow turned semiconductor diplomacy into a noodle-shop power ranking.
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Science & Technology
Exclusive: Leaked Factory Photos Point To OpenAI Relay, A Smart Speaker That Lets Meetings Follow You Home
Factory images point to an unannounced OpenAI smart speaker lineup with Home, Desk, and Room tiers, because apparently the meeting needed a physical body.
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Science & Technology
Kanye West Spotted Wearing Anthropic’s New AI Safety Butt Plug
The new wearable reportedly delivers real-time constitutional feedback whenever the user attempts to start a sentence everyone in the room already regrets.
