Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Music
James Hetfield Shocks Fans by Taking Mid-Concert Bathroom Break, Proving He’s Just Like Us
Last night, fans were left in awe as Metallica front-man James Hetfield paused a sold-out show to take a much-needed bathroom break. The shocking…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Phil Anselmo Completes Journey to Ultimate Badassery: Truck Nuts Installed on His Monster Whip! (PETA Won’t Like This)”
New Orleans, LA – Phil Anselmo, the legendary frontman of Pantera and Down, has long been considered one of the most fearsome figures in…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Finally! Uber Eats Announces Revolutionary ‘Foodwalk’ Service for Those Who Crave Exercise with Their Takeout
New York, NY – Uber Eats announced its latest innovative service, “Foodwalk,” which is set to revolutionize how people combine their love for exercise…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Nation Realizes It’s Been a Few Years Since They Were Outrageously Angry About Harambe, Decides to Get Mad Again
It’s been a few years since the tragic death of Harambe the gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo, and the nation has finally realized that…
· By Martin Finch
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Science & Technology
George Soros Swipes New York Times with a $7 Lifeline: Twitter Blue Checkmark Drama Unfolds!
Billionaire philanthropist George Soros has swooped in to save the floundering New York Times from the embarrassment of losing its coveted blue checkmark on…
· By Martin Finch
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Science & Technology
Elon Musk’s Generous Clown-Face Gift Leaves New York Times Red-Nosed and Speechless!
New York, NY – The New York Times Twitter account has lost its coveted blue checkmark after refusing to pay a measly $7 monthly…
· By Martin Finch
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Science & Technology
Bitcoin Plunges to Unseen Depths, Hodlers Insist It’s Just Practicing Limbo for the Afterparty!
As the price of Bitcoin, the digital currency that’s one power outage away from oblivion, spirals downward into the abyss of financial despair, its…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Checkmate, Manhattan: Donald Trump Offers to Write the Manhattan Grand Jury a Large Check
Manhattan, NY – As the world watched with bated breath, expecting a complex and protracted legal battle, former President and renowned businessman Donald Trump…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
MySpace: The Social Network You Never Knew You Missed Until Facebook Became a Dumpster Fire
MySpace, the once-dominant social network relegated to the annals of internet history, has reemerged to ask what everybody was thinking: “Do you miss us…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Suburban Dad Cruises at a Daring 5 MPH Over the Speed Limit in His Modded Honda Civic
MIDDLETON, OH – It was a day that will forever be etched into the memories of local residents. On a quiet, unsuspecting Sunday afternoon,…
· By Martin Finch