Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Life & Style
Walmart Announces Plan to Inspire Shoppers with Uplifting Anthem ‘Another Day, Another Dollar’
In a bold move to boost morale and inspire its shoppers, Walmart has announced plans to play motivational music through its loudspeakers. The retail…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Anheuser-Busch Throws a Bone to the Right: Introducing the KKK Edition Bud Light
Just when you thought Anheuser-Busch couldn’t be any more controversial, they’ve set the bar higher (or lower, depending on your perspective) by introducing their…
· By Martin Finch
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Politics
Trump Declares ‘World War III’ after Taco Bell Binge – Bathroom Salutes the Fallen
Palms Springs, FL – Just when we thought the verdict was in on former President Donald Trump’s social media career, he resurfaces like a…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Waffle House Declares National No Bill Day! Everything Is Free For The Next 24 Hours
The renowned Waffle House has taken it upon itself to transform the lives of hungry Americans by announcing today as National No Bill Day.…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
The Secret Swahili Shame of ‘Rizz’: Why You’ll Never Use This Slang Word Again!
The slang term “Rizz,” beloved by hipsters and wannabe cool kids everywhere, has a dark secret. That’s right, the word you’ve been using to…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Country Star Luke Combs Responds to Fan’s Letter from Spaceship Ostrich – You’ll Never Guess His Out-of-This-World Reply!
Country musician Luke Combs has taken his cowboy hat and dulcet tones to infinity and beyond, sending shockwaves through our atmosphere and our very…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Nursing Home Residents Shocked to Discover Hanson Living Among Them
Residents of the Sunny Acres Nursing Home were left in disbelief when they discovered that 90s pop sensation Hanson was now living among them.…
· By Martin Finch
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Science & Technology
Epic Fail! Bill Gates Accidentally Releases Vaccine for Next Pandemic Virus That He Hasn’t Released Yet
Seattle, WA: Microsoft mogul and technology soothsayer Bill Gates has done it again – and this time, it’s a doozy. In an epic display…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Small Rocket Syndrome: Taylor Swift and Elon Musk Have Broken Up
PALO ALTO, CA – You might have thought that Taylor Swift and Elon Musk’s whirlwind romance was written in the stars, but it turns…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Upheaval Gone Wrong: CEO Faces Stark Reality After Trading Veteran Staff for Budget-Friendly Neophytes
Stupefaction and chaos! Meet the new ambience at the once-thriving TechSurance Inc. after their emboldened CEO, Daniel Mellark, embarked on a cost-cutting crusade by…
· By Martin Finch