Author
Author: Martin Finch
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
General assignment, civic theater, and cultural oddities
Martin Finch covers general assignment stories for VanFLIP, from civic theater and brand misfires to the little rituals public figures use when they are trying not to apologize. He has a soft spot for cats, a firm belief that most meetings should have been a sandwich, and an enduring loyalty to steak cooked simply, preferably by someone who does not describe it as a concept.
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Life & Style
Gen Z’s Dairy Queen Tramp Stamp Obsession Conquers TikTok
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — If you thought the Tide Pod Challenge was ridiculous, brace yourself for the latest TikTok craze giving parents a meltdown.…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Lars Ulrich from Metallica Proves That He’s Still Relevant by Eating His Own Drum Set
In a desperate attempt to prove that he still has relevance in the music industry, Metallica’s drummer Lars Ulrich recently decided to prove himself…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
6ix9ine Declares He’s ‘No Snitch’, But Will Spill the Beans To Police
New York rapper 6ix9ine, who was recently released from prison, recently caused a stir when he declared he was “no snitch” during an interview…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Krispy Kreme Unveils “Girthy Glazers”: Donuts with Slightly Bigger Holes for Men Who Boast Above Average Girth
Krispy Kreme has announced its latest and most risqué culinary creation: the “Girthy Glazer.” These titillating new donuts cater specifically to men who possess…
· By Martin Finch
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Entertainment
Holy Smokes! Danny DeVito Storms the Stage and Steals the Show at Christian Rock Concert
Danny DeVito made a surprise appearance at a Christian rock concert this past weekend and caused a scene that is still reverberating throughout the…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Miley Cyrus Implicates Father Billy Ray in Catalytic Converter Thefts
Billy Ray Cyrus of “Achy Breaky Heart” fame has been accused of stealing catalytic converters around the country. Sources close to the singer say…
· By Martin Finch
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Life & Style
Sara Lee Desserts CEO Sends Unionizing Employees to “Sweet Retreats” for a Taste of Hard Labor
The CEO of Sara Lee Desserts, Chadwick “Sweet Tooth” Thompson, has announced that any employees caught attempting to unionize will be promptly escorted to…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
Mike Portnoy Caught Red-Handed Eating ‘Under the Table’ in Cheating Scandal
When we challenged the renowned musician Mike Portnoy to an eating contest, we expected a friendly competition. But what we got was something else…
· By Martin Finch
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Gaming
Could Mario Be in Your Hometown? Nintendo Urges Public to Be on Alert!
Nintendo fans worldwide are in a state of panic after the gaming giant confirmed what we all feared: Mario, the company’s beloved mascot, has…
· By Martin Finch
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Music
We’re shook: Taylor Swift just announced the end of capitalism
The world was rocked today when Taylor Swift, the pop culture icon, announced her plan to end capitalism. That’s right – the singer-songwriter has…
· By Martin Finch