WHY IRAN DESERVES THE BOMB
I’m just going to say it. Give Iran the nuclear weapons.
Not because I hate America. Quite the opposite. I love America so much that I would like to see several hundred thousand more Americans remain gainfully employed manufacturing things with names like Hellstorm Viper Systems and Tactical Response Platforms. Some of you younger people hear “nuclear proliferation” and think about human extinction. My generation hears it and thinks pensions.
You have to understand something about this country. We do not make televisions anymore. We do not make refrigerators. Half the people under 30 cannot change a tire without watching a YouTube video narrated by an Australian man named Trent. The only thing America still manufactures at a world class level is military anxiety.
That is our industrial base now.
Every time Iran enriches uranium, a divorced man in Northern Virginia gets to keep his boat.
That matters.
I was at Applebee’s last Thursday with three retired Air Force guys and one civilian contractor who somehow made $240,000 a year writing PDFs no one reads. Wonderful people. Entire communities depend on this arrangement. You start stabilizing the Middle East and suddenly these men are wandering around Home Depot at 10 a.m. asking each other what “cybersecurity pivot” means.
You want that on your conscience? Do you hate your country that much you’re willing to take away the only purpose our patriots have?
People forget how much sacrifice went into building America’s defense economy. My cousin Gary spent 19 years approving drone paperwork in Tampa. Nineteen years. Missed two of his daughter’s graduations because Qatar moved to Threat Level Orange. You can’t just throw that away because some European diplomat thinks “peace” sounds nice.
Peace is fine for countries that still produce dishwashers.
America runs on Lockheed Martin and fear.
Frankly, Iran getting nuclear weapons might be the best thing to happen to the U.S. middle class since the interstate highway system. You know how many jobs one vaguely threatening missile test creates? Engineers. Consultants. Cable news analysts. Flag manufacturers. Airport sandwich chains near military bases. The economy ripples outward.
My nephew Trevor got a six figure job straight out of college because tensions in the Strait of Hormuz increased. The kid majored in communications. He can barely operate a microwave. Today he works for a defense subcontractor helping create escalation flowcharts for something called “multi-domain readiness posture alignment.”
That is the American Dream.
And before some college sophomore with a nose ring lectures me about diplomacy, let me ask you this. What exactly are we supposed to do if every geopolitical issue gets solved? Build trains? Improve infrastructure? Manufacture affordable housing? This country has no idea how to do any of that anymore. We would collapse in six months.
At least war preparedness has structure.
There are systems. Acronyms. Committees. Strong fonts.
The Pentagon employs millions of Americans whose entire professional identity depends on phrases like “regional instability.” You think those people can transition into normal jobs? Absolutely not. I’ve met them. One retired colonel I know referred to his grandson’s soccer tournament as “a fluid tactical environment.” These people are too far gone.
Besides, nuclear weapons are basically a status symbol now. Britain has them. France has them. Pakistan has them. Israel has them but everyone has to do this little wink-and-cough routine every time it comes up. Let Iran enjoy itself.
You know what happens if Iran gets the bomb? Congress approves another $90 billion overnight. Raytheon stock shoots through the roof. Every retired senator gets hired onto three advisory boards. Somewhere in suburban Maryland, a kitchen renovation finally gets completed.
That is circulation. That is economic vitality.
Quite frankly, I trust the military industrial complex more than I trust Silicon Valley. At least the defense contractors still wear belts and answer emails. Tech companies spend twelve billion dollars inventing an app that delivers warm coconut water to bisexuals. Defense companies build jets that cost $80 million and occasionally explode in meaningful ways.
There’s dignity in that.
So yes, let Iran have nuclear weapons. Not because it is strategically sound. Not because it promotes global stability. But because America is a company town now, and the company is war.
And unlike manufacturing, journalism, retail, or basic human competence, business is booming.