Archive
Year: 2025
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Entertainment
Alec Baldwin Secretly Celebrates Trump’s Re-Election: ‘Finally, Four More Years of Steady Work!’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — While many in Hollywood recoiled in horror at Donald Trump’s shocking return to the White House, sources close to everyone’s favorite…
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Boomer Leaves Phone Flashlight On for Three Days
SPRINGFIELD, IL – A local 67-year-old man, Richard “Rick” Thompson, has reportedly had his phone flashlight on for three consecutive days and still has…
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Entertainment
Opinion: Travis Kelce Is Human Garbage, And It’s Time We Admit It
America has had its fair share of villains—Benedict Arnold, the guy who invented robocalls, whoever keeps putting lettuce on my cheeseburger—but none have been…
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Music
Sleep Token Announces New Album, Tracklist Leaks Mysteriously Online
Mysterious, mask-clad, genre-defying cult favorite Sleep Token has announced their highly anticipated new album, titled Devotions and Detachments, sending fans into a spiral of excitement, introspection, and…
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Entertainment
YouTube Guitarist Jared Dines Exposed as Absolute Monster
SEATTLE, WA — Your favorite YouTube guitar is a monster, we’re sorry. Sources have confirmed that YouTube guitarist Jared Dines is, in fact, a…
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Quizes
QUIZ: Grandma’s About to Kick the Bucket—How Will You Spend Your Inheritance?
Look, we all love Grandma. She’s a sweet old lady with a heart of gold, a purse full of peppermint candies, and a suspiciously…
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Life & Style
Wellness Influencer Declares Her Body A Temple While Dropping Another MDMA Pill At Local Rave Under 5G Towers
LOS ANGELES, CA — Local wellness influencer and self-proclaimed “spiritual goddess” Luna Starbeam took to social media last night to remind her followers that…
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Life & Style
Elon Musk Offers Discounted Teslas to Women Who Agree to Carry His Offspring, Declares Himself ‘Father of Mars’
AUSTIN, TX – In his latest attempt to outdo his own absurdity, billionaire tech overlord Elon Musk has announced an unprecedented new Tesla discount…
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Music
Misha Mansoor Exposed: Periphery Frontman Caught Taking More Bribes From Big Pharma as Fans Uncover Prescription Drug References in Lyrics
Progressive metal mastermind and Periphery guitarist Misha Mansoor has once again found himself in hot water after leaked documents revealed he has been accepting…
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Entertainment
Blake Lively Accuses Barista Who Got Her Order Wrong of Sexual Harassment
NEW YORK, NY — Hollywood actress Blake Lively shocked fans this week after she publicly accused a Manhattan barista of sexual harassment following an…
