Entertainment

Jake Paul Asks Girlfriend’s Boyfriend to Open Jar, Another Crushing Defeat for YouTuber Turned Boxer

In yet another sign of his decline, YouTuber turned boxer Jake Paul was caught on camera asking his girlfriend’s boyfriend to open a jar…

Entertainment

Mr Beast Takes Capitalism to the Next Level with Request for Free Labor

Popular YouTube star and philanthropist Mr Beast has done it again, folks. He’s found a new and innovative way to push the limits of…

Opinion

I Can’t Wait for the Day When All the Ice Caps Melt and I Can Enjoy My Ocean Views!

As a boomer, I’ve spent my fair share of time on this planet, and I have to say, I’m getting a little tired of…

Music

Metal Band Sees The Error Of Their Ways After Taking Down Tabs From Ultimate Guitar

The metal band, Megalithic Destruction recently made a huge mistake when they asked Ultimate Guitar to take down guitar tabs for their older songs.…

Life & Style

Starbucks Customers Rejoice as Frog in Coffee Machine Boosts Flavor

In what constitutes many violations of the local health code, a frog somehow found its way into a Starbucks coffee machine and got trapped.…

Music

The National’s New Song ‘Tropic Morning News’ So Boring, It Puts Listeners to Sleep!

Indie rock band The National has just released a new song from their upcoming album, First Two Pages of Frankenstein. Titled “Tropic Morning News,”…

Life & Style

Andrew Tate Let’s Us Down Again, Fails to Develop Lung Cancer

Fans of Andrew Tate were left disappointed yet again this week, as the controversial figure announced that he does not have lung cancer. Tate,…

Science & Technology

Twitter Blue Users Under Attack as Broke and Lonely Unverified Twitter Users Turn to Jealousy and Spite

It’s a classic case of the haves versus the have-nots: as more and more Twitter users struggle to make ends meet, they’re turning their…

Politics

Donald Trump Caught Scrounging for Change, Faces Bankruptcy for 12th Time: Is This the End of His Golden Toilet Dreams?

It’s a scene straight out of a tragicomedy: the former President of the United States, billionaire businessman, and self-proclaimed “stable genius” is caught rummaging…

Music

Aussie Metalcore Band Patient Sixty-Seven Partners with Bunnings to Give Fans Snags at Upcoming Shows

Australian metalcore band Patient Sixty-Seven is teaming up with hardware store giant Bunnings to give fans a delicious treat at their upcoming shows: snags.…