Music

Tim Henson’s Neck Tattoo Comes to Life, Wails in Agony

The members of the fusion instrumental band, Polyphia, have been in a state of shock since their guitarist, Tim Henson, appeared on stage with…

Life & Style

Experts Predict Economic Collapse in 2023, But Who Has Time for That When There’s a Cat in a Shark Costume

As the world teeters on the brink of financial ruin, experts are warning of an impending economic crash set to take place in 2023.…

Music

Plain White T’s Vocalist Continues Creepy Stalker Song Streak with ‘I’ve Been Expecting You, Meghan’

In yet another display of his undeniable talent for creepily fixating on women he’s never met, Tom Higgenson, vocalist of the Plain White T’s,…

Opinion

Afghan-istan’t: Bands Too Afraid to Tour the War-Torn Country

In the music industry, touring is key to promoting your band and getting your music out to the masses. But when it comes to…

Life & Style

Andrew Tate’s Romanian Pizza Chain Offering Unbelievable Deal

In what can only be described as an unbelievable deal, the pizza restaurant made famous by Andrew Tate on Twitter in Romania is offering…

Music

Wow! 50 Cent Just Stopped By Our Office and Gave Us a Burner Phone

We never expected it to happen, but it did: 50 Cent just dropped off a burner phone for us! We were all surprised when…

Music

Psychiatrist Baffled After Patient Insists ‘Djent’ Is Real

In a bizarre turn of events, a patient at the local mental health clinic has been insisting that the much-debated music genre ‘djent’ is…

Music

Tyler, The Creator Declares War on CCP, Promises to Single-Handedly Take Down Communism Worldwide

Rapper and fashion designer Tyler, The Creator has announced his plans to take on the Chinese Communist Party and bring an end to communism…

Music

Taylor Swift Finally Admits She’s Just a Criminal With a Guitar

Taylor Swift has finally admitted what many of her fans have long suspected: that her music is actually about her criminal activities. “I can…

Politics

President Biden Found in Hot Water Once Again as Classified Documents Discovered at Local Jimmy John’s

Washington, D.C. – In yet another embarrassing blunder for the Biden Administration, a box of classified documents from the President’s tenure as Vice President…