Reviews

Veil of Maya’s [m]other Album: A Lovechild of Dubstep and Racing Game Menu Music

Veil of Maya, the once-revered pioneers of the metal scene, have released their latest album, [m]other, with a daring new approach. This highly-anticipated album…

Life & Style

Gen Z’s Dairy Queen Tramp Stamp Obsession Conquers TikTok

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — If you thought the Tide Pod Challenge was ridiculous, brace yourself for the latest TikTok craze giving parents a meltdown.…

Music

Lars Ulrich from Metallica Proves That He’s Still Relevant by Eating His Own Drum Set

In a desperate attempt to prove that he still has relevance in the music industry, Metallica’s drummer Lars Ulrich recently decided to prove himself…

Music

6ix9ine Declares He’s ‘No Snitch’, But Will Spill the Beans To Police

New York rapper 6ix9ine, who was recently released from prison, recently caused a stir when he declared he was “no snitch” during an interview…

Life & Style

Krispy Kreme Unveils “Girthy Glazers”: Donuts with Slightly Bigger Holes for Men Who Boast Above Average Girth

Krispy Kreme has announced its latest and most risqué culinary creation: the “Girthy Glazer.” These titillating new donuts cater specifically to men who possess…

Entertainment

Holy Smokes! Danny DeVito Storms the Stage and Steals the Show at Christian Rock Concert

Danny DeVito made a surprise appearance at a Christian rock concert this past weekend and caused a scene that is still reverberating throughout the…

Music

Miley Cyrus Implicates Father Billy Ray in Catalytic Converter Thefts

Billy Ray Cyrus of “Achy Breaky Heart” fame has been accused of stealing catalytic converters around the country. Sources close to the singer say…

Life & Style

Sara Lee Desserts CEO Sends Unionizing Employees to “Sweet Retreats” for a Taste of Hard Labor

The CEO of Sara Lee Desserts, Chadwick “Sweet Tooth” Thompson, has announced that any employees caught attempting to unionize will be promptly escorted to…

Music

Mike Portnoy Caught Red-Handed Eating ‘Under the Table’ in Cheating Scandal

When we challenged the renowned musician Mike Portnoy to an eating contest, we expected a friendly competition. But what we got was something else…

Gaming

Could Mario Be in Your Hometown? Nintendo Urges Public to Be on Alert!

Nintendo fans worldwide are in a state of panic after the gaming giant confirmed what we all feared: Mario, the company’s beloved mascot, has…